I thought this was an interesting premise for a story. The narrator a little like Travis Bickle from "Taxi Driver" but even more demented and driven. I think an opportunity was missed with the victim though. I would have liked to actually here a story, as requested, rather than the begging and pleading that followed. What kind of story would the victim have told? It could have spoke volumes about his character, and by proxy the character of the narrator, who has chosen his victims purposefully.
A very nice twist at the end too. It's a frightening thought that someone we trust and enable to protect us from darkness may in fact be psychotic. If I had any recommendations, it would be to draw the story out longer, and develop it more. I feel like you're just touching the surface of a very intriguing idea. Nice job.
Review of: Tell Me a Story
reviewed by dgburton on 03/02/2011
Other Reviews by dgburton 67
A review of Snapshot of Beautyby dgburton on 03/02/2011This is a beautifully written, tender story about how so much can unfold in just a few moments. Your prose is the strength of the piece, very sensual and descriptive, and it's easy to imagine and dream on such a sanctuary as you've created and shared here. The thoughts of the lovers, though possibly fleeting, are bound up with such universal and timeless emotion that it would... read
A review of The story of the Tattooby dgburton on 03/02/2011This was quite a funny piece. You set the tone early with the light-bulb gag, and it really was a fun ride. I would think this would make a good sample piece if you were interested in writing a humor column for your local newspaper ala Dave Barry. (Do newspapers even exist anymore?) Anyway, I quite enjoyed it and you have some terrific lines. I would have liked to see the... read
A review of The Epiphanyby dgburton on 03/01/2011For a story about a man who doesn't even move a muscle until the very end, there certainly were a lot of twists and turns, which is a pretty impressive feat. I do feel confused by the ending though, especially the narrator's reaction to seeing his image in the mirror and hearing the fireman's dialogue after he lands on his shoulders ("Hang on Randy, I'll get 'im"). Fairly... read