This is quite an interesting read. I like your attempt to create a new twist of how we define time and natural lifetimes versus ‘lifetime’.
The only major issue with the story is the lack of development of Skye’s character and I wish there was more actual interaction between Ewan and Skye so that the reader experiences Skye instead of just experiences Ewan experiencing Skye. While the story is of Ewan and his longing to continue a life that is no longer his, giving more of Skye’s character would make their union more ‘wholesome’ (for lack of a better word) and give us more of Ewan. The exchanges between Ewan and Gwyn however are very good and very well done.
All in all a good story but perhaps try and make the interaction between Ewan and Skye more tortured, or were you avoiding that in the first place?
Review of: Immortality
reviewed by mwiings on 09/23/2010
Other Reviews by mwiings 32
A review of Thy Will Be Doneby mwiings on 02/22/2013When I first started reading this I was a little thrown by the voice and I even pulled out my pen to start making corrections and page one and two suffered however, once I reached page three I "got it" and there isnt a mark after "when?" and I must say I am a fan and it ended too early. This was very well executed and the only correction I feel you should make is on page two... read
A review of The Cascade ( Revised )by mwiings on 02/21/2013This story was brief and had punch. An enjoyable read overall. I did pause on the first sentence over the use of the word “stood” in that context but I believe it makes the scene more “statuesque” and on my second read it fit a lot better and I wasn’t jarred out of the scene. I do think that Foster would have been better served with more description on him as a person and... read
A review of Das Leben Diebby mwiings on 12/11/2011I simply love this story. I am a fan of faery tales and this is a wonderful way of weaving it into a modern “story” without losing its tale-like quality. As I love it so much there are only 2 things I can think of to improve it. Your imagery is very strong and there was only one scene that didn’t work for me: in the beginning when Bill strokes his wife’s tummy she hums to... read