Other Reviews by ravensdragonfly 55

• 
  from the inside looking out
  A review of Elemental
  by ravensdragonfly on 03/28/2011
  I found myself not wanting to stop reading. I kept wanting to know what happens next and that is the hallmark of a very good book. The way you intertwined the elements and stories at the begining of each chapter with what was going on in this mans life was an interesting concept. Admittedly it went over my head at first (I am not the sharpest tool in the shed at times). I am... I found myself not wanting to stop reading. I kept wanting to know what happens next and that is the hallmark of a very good book.
  The way you intertwined the elements and stories at the begining of each chapter with what was going on in this mans life was an interesting concept. Admittedly it went over my head at first (I am not the sharpest tool in the shed at times). I am not sure if that worked for me, that seemed more of an artsy type thing while the book seemed more gritty and real life.
  All in all I found the book to be a great tell-it-like-it-is book and I appreciate that.
  You have a talent for bringing the characters you write about to life, they seemed like real people instead of fictional characters in someones imagination.
  I did find myself having to look up the deffinitions of quite a few words in the begining (as I said, I am not the sharpest tool in the shed). Some of those words seemed a tad over the average readers head: abstemious (pg 155), Treacle (pg 153), Bedouin (page 88) to name a few. It has been my experiance that once a reader finds too many words they have to look up then they just end up putting the book down.
  I did find quite a few spots where you had question marks when a period would have done nicely.
  This was an engaging read and I rather enjoyed going along for the ride down this man's life. I like the way you didn't try to make us feel overly sorry for him or make him appear like a victim. The story was perfectly told in my opinion. It gives the reader a real life point of view, one that not many people will actually admit to. Good job! read
• 
  The Sown
  A review of The Sown (rev)
  by ravensdragonfly on 03/10/2011
  WoW! This story held my attention from beggining to end! usually I tend to get detracted but not this time. Your writing is captivating and excellent. I love the way you kept building and building letting the situation grow more tense, you have perfect timing for this, well done! your grammar seemed imepecable. I only ran across two spelling errors; On page 5 - you wrote -... WoW! This story held my attention from beggining to end! usually I tend to get detracted but not this time. Your writing is captivating and excellent.
  I love the way you kept building and building letting the situation grow more tense, you have perfect timing for this, well done!
  your grammar seemed imepecable.
  I only ran across two spelling errors;
  On page 5 - you wrote - The first bathe out of stasis sleep was with real water.
  I believe this should be The first bath. not bathe.
  On page 17 - you wrote - His pacing quickened, became an irrational motion of concern,
  I believe this should be His pacing quickened, becoming an irrational motion of concern.
  I have no advice on how to improve. The story seemed complete and very well written.
  I look forward to reading more of your work. read
• 
  red bandana
  A review of Relife/Bandana-- rewrite
  by ravensdragonfly on 03/09/2011
  What a wonderful little story! Your writing is getting better with each story you write and I am truely enjoying reading each one and watching how you progress. I loved how you paralleled the bandana in each characters life - it gives the reader a warm and fuzzy feeling. the only adivce I can offer: 1) You wrote - “What is that for?” The boy asked, fascinated by his youthful... What a wonderful little story! Your writing is getting better with each story you write and I am truely enjoying reading each one and watching how you progress.
  I loved how you paralleled the bandana in each characters life - it gives the reader a warm and fuzzy feeling.
  the only adivce I can offer:
  1) You wrote - “What is that for?” The boy asked, fascinated by his youthful curiosity. This sentence makes it seem like the boy is fascinated by his own curiousity and not by the stick itself. I am not sure how to word it exactly but maybe 'The boy, in his youthful curious way, was fascinated with the stick his father had created." or something like that.
  Also, I would like to hear how the father was rescued when he got last as a boy - I think you can really expand the story by adding a bit more tale of the boy getting lost and then found.
  I love your stories JJ and I can't wait to read more of them :) read