I enjoyed this so much. A rich, delightful cast of characters, genuinely funny running gags, deftly handled setups and payoffs which felt totally organic to the characters, plenty of great visuals, high stakes, and just enough fresh, whimsical weirdness to make it feel like a truly original universe. I was troubled by the fact that Captain Drake sounds like a salty sea dog when you introduce him, and in most of the scenes - but not in all of them. I think you need to take a pass through and just Robert Newton him up a little bit in the places where he sounds, uh, like a regular person. And I was very distracted and bothered by the fact that Scarling Dray only really had trouble with Ts and Ds about half the time. Maybe it wouldn't have bothered me if I were watching the movie - but because I read that very funny line in the description about her having trouble with those letters, it kept bothering me when she seemed perfectly capable of pronouncing them. I wanted you to either be more consistent with the substitutions, or work harder to use words that don't contain those letters. In fact, I think you could get some comic value out of that as a character trait - if she's self-conscious about her pronunciation problems and sometimes uses deliberately tortured phrasing in order to avoid Ts and Ds - and someone calls her on it. Maybe??? I dunno. Just spitballing. I also think there are several places where you could describe specific puppy behaviors that would be very entertaining. I would take a pass through and puppy them up a bit more. It's not a glaring weakness - you actually do it very well in many places, but I sensed a few lost opportunities here and there. You have quite a few typos and punctuation shortcomings, which I marked up in detail, along with a few more specific suggestions in the pdf of your script. I'll email it to you. If you have a Mac, I recommend opening the pdf in the application "Preview" - that makes the notes and stickies easy to read.
all the best,
Review of: "Castaway Dog"
reviewed by Gary Wright on 10/23/2011
Other Reviews by Gary Wright 155
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