Not the kind of story I like, but for what it is it's written rather well.
Beginning on page 1 there seems to me to be a problem with maintaining consistency of tenses. There's "I plumped for yellow...; I pulled them on..." Then, "I climb the stairs... I sidestep..." instead of "climbed" and "sidestepped."
Page 2, "I could almost smell her, the prospect of her touch, the prospect of her touch." Almost smell?
Page 11, "I tried to tell myself I something..." Missing word.
I didn't like this one, but I'd be interested in seeing other work by this writer.
Review of: Bathtime
reviewed by mnjones on 08/01/2010
Other Reviews by mnjones 381
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A review of Saladin Hazeby mnjones on 12/03/2010Strong, gripping, and well-written account of a man at war, a civil war in which he has begun to suspect he may be on the wrong side. I am still puzzled by the disembodied voice that seemed to surround Haze and his men at the roadblock; but the ending is well done, with Haze, who sacrifices his sister so that he can, in her memory and the memory of Anne Frank, "find them"... read
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