Review of: Bathtime 

reviewed by mnjones on 08/01/2010
Credited Review
Necrophilic Lover Credited Review
Not the kind of story I like, but for what it is it's written rather well.

Beginning on page 1 there seems to me to be a problem with maintaining consistency of tenses. There's "I plumped for yellow...; I pulled them on..." Then, "I climb the stairs... I sidestep..." instead of "climbed" and "sidestepped."

Page 2, "I could almost smell her, the prospect of her touch, the prospect of her touch." Almost smell?

Page 11, "I tried to tell myself I something..." Missing word.

I didn't like this one, but I'd be interested in seeing other work by this writer.

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