Review of: A Dangerous Mind 

reviewed by danjama on 04/28/2010
Credited Review
danjama
Needs work. Credited Review
I liked the concept, but I felt you didn't do the story justice. Though well written, it could be better. I did enjoy it, but sometimes your descriptions are lacking.

The main character needs more of a background. He needs to be given more depth and dimension. More details. How did it get to this point in his life exactly? What was his life like before?

Errors:

"turned into anger for his unseen captures". Should be captors.

"infuriat" missing an 'e'.

"He momentary numbness" should be 'The' I think.

"He grabbed onto the corner of the bed, held tightly, but the grip was slowly released." This sentence needs re-structuring. Maybe say "and held tightly, but the grip...".

It's contradictory in that he's trying to tire himself out by not sleeping, but we've already been told that once he's under their control, he's superhuman, beyond any of that.

I feel it would have been more emotionally involving to see him kill his wife and child.

The ending was very disappointing. We built up to this point where he would kill his close friends, and then you just shrugged it off and ended it totally open.

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