Review of: LOVE ME DEAD 

reviewed by aaron k on 07/29/2011
Credited Review
aaron k
no one to root for. Credited Review
my headline sums up what I think about this story. In these types of intertwined relationship movies, I feel the audience needs characters to root for and my guess is that you want us to sympathize with Natalie and hope that Brody and Julie get back together. But Julie cheated. That is an unforgivable flaw in the audiences eyes, unless you give a compelling reason why she cheated. You're saying because Brody had a gambling problem. Okay, but I don't think she had a right to cheat. But, you did go for writing gray, complex characters that are both good and bad so I commend you on that.

There are many, many scenes that have no conflict. There's tons of dialogue where people are just being civil with each other and the plot is not progressing. I think you need more of a plot. Create deadlines for characters or goals for them other than fucking this girl, or that guy. Or just keep it about the relationships, but trim it down. This script is way too long.

Now, the mystery aspect needs improved greatly. There are only a few scenes where a mystery unfolds, and since these scenes are too spread apart, they seem out of place. If you want to write a mystery, make sure each scene reveals more clues. this is hard to do, but if you want to write that genre, it's paramount.

keep writing. you have passion for relationships, you just need to gain more experience with your craft.

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