What can i say about this screenplay?
I noticed a few mistakes along the way, notably sometimes not giving a full slugline, sometimes including dialogue with the prose rather than giving a character heading, and telling us what the characters are thinking in the prose, which is a no-no ("Brian shakes his head in disbelied. Not worth it"). It's the not worth it part that shouldn't be there.
I found the number of flashbacks early on to be quite disorientating, but of course, they're necessary for the story to be told, and it all fits together in the end.
On page 47, a scene seems to be repeated unnecessarily.
The script was easy to read, and although i'm not usually into crime capers, it was interesting and fun to read. I especially loved Kat's character, the way she was hardened to all of the crap that goes on around her, and how she plays everybody.
My favourite part of the screenplay is when Floyd and Loop are in the garden, and he directs his attention away and then.....well, you know the rest ;) I was a bit sad about what happened to Hammers, he is a very likeable character, so for me it was a bad choice to kill him. Maybe he could turn up later, in hospital or something.
Finally, i found the script to be a bit heavy on the dialogue side of things, although not to the point that i got bored.
I definitely recommend others to read it. It needs a rewrite, but it's not unreadable. I hope this review isn't completely useless.
Review of: Blockhouse Blues and the Elmore Beast
reviewed by danjama on 03/30/2010
Other Reviews by danjama 23
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A review of Selling the Voidby danjama on 06/18/2010That stands for, you're a good film-maker. I really enjoyed this short film. The concept is fresh, yet ludicrous, and offers maximum comedy value. The film had a very genuine documentary feel to it; the quick-zoom to catch Scotty's reactions, for example. The soundtrack went very well with it, and the sound quality was excellent. The whole piece was technically sound. I... read