I was delighted to receive this assignment as I had read what you could do with the screenplay form. The narrative prose also seems to suit you well, ChrisÖ Great job! This was very much a story about longing for a love now lost.
Characters: Complexly described relationship told in a really short piece, the narrator/hero was instantly relatable which helps to pull the reader in quickly. The universal theme about passion and love, which leaves a marriage is a universal one thus making this a very accessible story.
Only lightly touched upon is the backstory about how he and his wife grew apart. It almost didn't matter what the details were and in a way, details could get in the way of the universality of the story. Apathy, routine, and/or boredom sets in when neither of them work on keeping the relationship alive. So this becomes very much a contemporary story rather than traditional story about love.
Plot/Structure: The first three pages really set up the type of relationship the narrator had with his wife. This was demonstrated both internally in terms of the narratorís depiction of the relationship as well as how the British couple perceived them. People who have grown apart are perhaps easy to prey upon as each one of them is oriented to a desire outside of the relationship rather than toward each other.
The blank look that registered no information between he and his wife was absolutely devastating. So much unwritten which leaves open so many questions for the reader, giving this piece a somewhat open-ended conclusion.
As readers, weíve come to care about these characters. To see them avoid intimacy with each other and worse yet grow further apart, choose to be intimate with strangers outside their marriage, and then lie to each other in some way to respect the relationship they once had or perhaps out of shame, really is a haunting way to conclude the story.
I am convinced at the end that after being faced with temptation and failing - while he chose not to continue which probably had more to do with ego/competition than love - the relationship had nowhere left to go.
Overall: Engaging, thoughtful read. Well done.
Review of: The Yacht
reviewed by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/04/2009
Other Reviews by **DELETED ACCOUNT** 3429
A review of Rex & The Doggy Style Killerby **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 12/12/2014Ms. Lamoureux, normally, I like to congratulate writers on the completion of their screenplay as itís quite the accomplishment. However, I canít offer any such congratulations for this unholy filth. I just canít. And normally, after uploading a generally critical review of oneís hard work Iíd apologize for the ensuing negativity, but this screenplay (for lack of a better... read
A review of Angels (rev)by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/29/2014Heya David, long time no see. This is the first time I've ever done a non free will review of a script you've posted. I'll do my best to justify using up your credits. :p I read and reviewed "Time Rift" over two years, and your descriptions are the element of that script that stand out most vividly in my memory. I'll say now what I expect I said then; they're short and punchy... read
A review of Are we you?by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/11/2014This review is going to be all about dialogue. I've got to say, I never realized how negatively a screenplay can be impacted when just one component isn't in the box. Because "Are We You?" really ought to have everything in the world going for it. It's a dynamic premise, the characters are put through the ringer, and you're dealing with really interesting subject matter (9/11... read