Review of: The Yacht 

reviewed by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/04/2009
Credited Review
**DELETED ACCOUNT**
Over the brink Credited Review
I was delighted to receive this assignment as I had read what you could do with the screenplay form. The narrative prose also seems to suit you well, Chris… Great job! This was very much a story about longing for a love now lost.

Characters: Complexly described relationship told in a really short piece, the narrator/hero was instantly relatable which helps to pull the reader in quickly. The universal theme about passion and love, which leaves a marriage is a universal one thus making this a very accessible story.

Only lightly touched upon is the backstory about how he and his wife grew apart. It almost didn't matter what the details were and in a way, details could get in the way of the universality of the story. Apathy, routine, and/or boredom sets in when neither of them work on keeping the relationship alive. So this becomes very much a contemporary story rather than traditional story about love.

Plot/Structure: The first three pages really set up the type of relationship the narrator had with his wife. This was demonstrated both internally in terms of the narrator’s depiction of the relationship as well as how the British couple perceived them. People who have grown apart are perhaps easy to prey upon as each one of them is oriented to a desire outside of the relationship rather than toward each other.

The blank look that registered no information between he and his wife was absolutely devastating. So much unwritten which leaves open so many questions for the reader, giving this piece a somewhat open-ended conclusion.

As readers, we’ve come to care about these characters. To see them avoid intimacy with each other and worse yet grow further apart, choose to be intimate with strangers outside their marriage, and then lie to each other in some way to respect the relationship they once had or perhaps out of shame, really is a haunting way to conclude the story.

I am convinced at the end that after being faced with temptation and failing - while he chose not to continue which probably had more to do with ego/competition than love - the relationship had nowhere left to go.

Overall: Engaging, thoughtful read. Well done.

Other Reviews by **DELETED ACCOUNT** 3429

  • A review of Totally To The Max
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/25/2014
    After FADE IN: what does "SUBURBS, NORTHEAST USA, MID 80s, END OF SUMMER" mean? If the writer intends on that text being seen on the screen then it needs to be preceded with SUPER: "SUBURBS, NORTHEAST... Page 1. There is an extra space between Mamie's dialogue and the parenthetical (to Allison). Putting this reader on guard for more problems. An experienced reader is jarred... read
  • A review of Reaping Profit
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/24/2014
    'Reaping Profit' was a very interesting take on the subject of life/death & heaven/hell with an absurdist/comical approach and some hilarious situations. That being said, there were some things I had difficulty with, along with some structural issues that made this a difficult read for me. As far as the characters, the only one I really was concerned with was Jack. Death and... read
  • A review of P.A.M.
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/15/2014
    P.A.M is an entertaining, high-octane, fast moving zombie picture. I read this in one sitting and it was overall an enjoyable read. I’ll try and talk high level and hopefully some of this will be helpful. Your opening was untraditional as far as the zombie movies I have seen. Normally we get that opening of 10 or more pages/minutes where all is fine and dandy before the world... read
+ more reviews