Review of: Madonna of the Chair
reviewed by mmckean on 07/20/2011
The imagery is there, and so is the style, but the concept and characters need a little work. Charles mother seems to be kinda mean in the story, and there is a general lack of dialogue, however I have seen short horror stories done solely with exposition and very little dialogue or character development (H.P. Lovecraft comes to mind) but the concept needs to be reworked a little. You have a boy named Charles that is afraid of a painting on a wall (an experience we can all relate to) but the painting really is evil and it doesn't really offer any explanation (fantastic or otherwise) as to why the painting is like this. The only thing I can figure is that the painting is evil only in his mind. If that is the case it didn't come across in the story that way. Also, I really don't understand how the back-story works into the overall plot. What does him saving a cat years ago have to do with an evil painting that turns into a monster at night? I think you are an excellent writer but this story needs to be thought out a little better. Keep working on it. Thanks for sharing.
Other Reviews by mmckean 114
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A review of Splinteredby mmckean on 03/17/2013Hey Vbrewer1, I commend you on completing a fairly good script. If I had to guess, I would say you have been writing screenplays for a while now, or you have done a lot of research on how to write one. The actual writing and description in the story is superb. Everything flows well and is a quick and easy read. I like how you set the scene by describing what the characters... read
A review of The Many Missing of Hillsborough County (V.3)by mmckean on 08/04/2012The actually writing is excellent. The story idea needs a little work though, it's pretty cliche. This script is gonna be a hard sell. I'm on page 19 and I don't feel like the script is pushing me along to read more. The killer with the axe was interesting, but it didn't involve the main character directly. By page 10, the main character should be involved and the story should... read