Pseudo-Storybook
The series of freeze-frames thing kind of threw me - i liked the few brief moments when you let the live action play; I'd include more of that. Small thing, but I think you could've found a better "crumpled paper" sound effect - the ones you used aren't that clean (lots of room tone). Most of the angles on the writer are pretty bland - and the "black&white'ing" of the image doesn't look too sharp - lots of grey, not enough contrast. The stuff of the writer sitting at his table, struggling w/ a block could be shortened. Pace really picks up as he begins to write/ speak. Some of the images in your story montage are pretty visually interesting - i liked some of the color efx. Liked the music (make sure you have the rights to use it). The VO was nice - the writer arguing back & forth with the "voice in his head" it had its moments, especially when he refutes his own attempts to glamourize an otherwise pedestrian existence. Overall, this is a decent little piece with some redeeming qualities. Not sure what point is, though - not left very satisfied by the ending.
Other Reviews by rkw74
91
-
Well, this piece LOOKED nice - decent lighting and compositions and the cross-process sort of works as an aesthetic here (then again, its kind of hard to screw up 35mm). Your leading lady is smoking & running time is short (which has garnered you a lot of looks). That's the good news. The "acting" is wooden and totally overdone - all those head nods and eye rolls are very...
Well, this piece LOOKED nice - decent lighting and compositions and the cross-process sort of works as an aesthetic here (then again, its kind of hard to screw up 35mm). Your leading lady is smoking & running time is short (which has garnered you a lot of looks). That's the good news. The "acting" is wooden and totally overdone - all those head nods and eye rolls are very reminiscent of a junior highschool play. The re-use of the dolly moves in on our "hero" at the start didn't work for me, either - feels like a jump cut. And what'd he do that warranted a quickie w/ the hottest chick in the place? I didn't see anything transpire - he never earned my confidence or support with anything he did. The pay-off was weak. I think its a better twist if the guy who ends up with the girl is a schlub - not a cheesy goatee'd musclehead (as per usual). Perhaps the weirdo at the sink - he knows how to use the "fonzie" trick to get a condom from the machine & so he scores the girl instead of the guy we assume will win out. I think you did yourself a disservice by extending this piece WELL beyond its intended length. I think it can still be a successful "short" at :60 or even :30, but there's way too much fat here as it is in its current form. Personally, i prefer wearing Durex.
read
-
There's nothing technically wrong w/ this film - in fact, its fairly well executed. Some nice compositions, well-lit interiors (w/ 'candlelight'), and the editing - for the most part - works. Performances are OK - although a little over the top in places. My main issues w/ this film are its subject matter & the way in which it was handled. To me, its really easy to get...
There's nothing technically wrong w/ this film - in fact, its fairly well executed. Some nice compositions, well-lit interiors (w/ 'candlelight'), and the editing - for the most part - works. Performances are OK - although a little over the top in places. My main issues w/ this film are its subject matter & the way in which it was handled. To me, its really easy to get schmaltzy w/ a story like this & i think you did. The music was a big part of that - its really nice, but with this imagery, it just starts to feel like something you'd see in a couples therapy waiting room, or on some sort of loop on a vacation hotel TV. I don't mean to diss - you treated the subject w/ sensitivity & obviously tried to communicate the possibilities of a special moment, a connection, btwn people - but the love scene went on a little long for my taste (he takes forever to undo her shirt) and all these longing, meaningful looks in the dark can get a little...yecch. And with that music...i don't know, i just felt like i was watching a live action hallmark card. The quick montage of the rest of their life was a bit too brief for me - would've liked more of that & less of the. The end w/ the missed looks back and forth was a little forced.
read
-
Solid, polished, well-executed film. Technically very well done. Nice cinematography (liked the opening zoom out from the mirror): well-chosen shots with a good variance of angles. Lighting was solid. Like the "desaturated" look of the exteriors. Editing was also strong - good pace & rhythm to the shots (clearly very specific storyboards being followed here). Esp. liked...
Solid, polished, well-executed film. Technically very well done. Nice cinematography (liked the opening zoom out from the mirror): well-chosen shots with a good variance of angles. Lighting was solid. Like the "desaturated" look of the exteriors. Editing was also strong - good pace & rhythm to the shots (clearly very specific storyboards being followed here). Esp. liked the jump cutting of the flashback of the different men in green shirts running through the wheat(?) field. Good sound design there, as well. Music worked. The acting was the only aspect i thought didn't excel, but performances were more than adequate. Story-wise, i'm not sure i got it, but that's not necessarily a bad thing for a quirky short like this. Didn't like the "I'll sacrifice myself to prevent you from being hit by a car" bit - that's a little cliche'd and i would've liked to have seen you find a more creative way to do your protagonist in. Also, while i dug the look and feel of the "running flashbacks", not sure how it helps elucidate/ add to your story/ message. Kind of wanted that to connect more explicitly/ intriniscally with the "loss of identity" theme somehow. Overall, great job - a really solid film.
read
+ more reviews
