You have a fairly good story told in the third person. The opening setup, has Deanna on a blind date with Ben. A date she's setup with through a friend named Ivan. The opening was both funny and gross. The central theme, Deanna needs to fart really bad, and I do mean bad! You did a good job of rises the tension. And you made her a believable character through her actions and flaws. The ending wasn't a totally surprise, however, it was still amusing when she finally lets the fart go. The only thing that I didn't understand, was the last three lines of your short story and what it had to do with it or I just didn't get the humor of it.
“I bought the coin sorter,” she said.
“From the infomercial. It works really well.”
Overall, a quick, fun read. Good luck!
Review of: Revealing Deanna
reviewed by covofdark on 01/12/2012
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