The premise reads like LEAVING LAS VEGAS meets THE HANGOVER... and it looks as though we will be watching a man’s deterioration through drink and drugs, etc.
However, the script contains little more than an endless batch of scenes that include three men going into bars, getting drunk and trying to get laid. The pattern repeats over and over and is only interrupted by Peter’s brief chat with his dad… and the discovery that his girlfriend was cheating on him.
The real story doesn’t begin until P88 (Peter is being set up for murder), but by then I had lost all interest. The fact that Cormac admits, “Maybe I was just bored one day and wanted to see it if was possible to get away with murder.” just goes to show how thin this idea was.
The script really needed a hook or idea to drive the story forward and give it direction.
I was also not a fan of the narrative style, which I thought was rambling, full of author’s intrusions, unfilmables, and not the short punchy style required for screenwriting.
A few examples:
• “He instantly approaches”
• “who exudes authority”
• “At first glance, Peter’s luck appears to be in”
• “Peter initiates the conversation”
• “Peter wears the look of a man who’s suddenly regretting his decision to work tonight”
• “The famous Amsterdam hash café”
P.S. Cormac speaks on P41, but he is not in the scene?
Sorry I have been so harsh. These are just my thoughts.
All the best with the script.
Review of: One Night in Amsterdam
reviewed by CJ Knight on 04/03/2010
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