Hi, I liked the idea behind the story and feel you didnt do the concept justice by fitting it into 6 pages.
I get the feeling that English is not your first language as there are quite a few spelling and grammar errors. A lot os short sentences telling what is in the authors mind instead of allowing the readers mind to wander.
What happened in the 10 years? I want to know what led him there. Why did his mentor commit suicide? I think this could have been massively expanded and made a gripping thriller if more empathy could have been gained for the protagonist.
Review of: SWEEPER
reviewed by Lethal Lizard on 12/08/2009
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