Story of Jack and Walter who set out to make a movie for the army and leave their porn careers behind. A relationship develops between Juliana and Walter while Jack tries to raise a family with values. There is an interesting scene when they go to Amsterdam to pick up the porn stars. There is a change in the middle when the guys wonder if it is going to all work out.
This would be a good story to use with USO for the troops. They would roll over laughing, reminds me of Bob Hope. The ending was funny and well-written.
The dialogue needs to be cleaned up for the screen. Some women would be offended by this script. Right now, it is more suited for an adult film. The characters were well defined and the story engaging. This concept has been done many times in the past. Add more new twists to the script. Maybe, a scene of troops in a parade or a soldier back on leave.
Review of: Why We Fight (Post Bin Laden Edition)
reviewed by Pmitch on 05/16/2011
Other Reviews by Pmitch 40
A review of Man of Warby Pmitch on 07/11/2011Major Jason Richards leads a team to destroy the German new invention Schloss Festung. He runs into a lot of gunfire as his lady friend Agent Zoey Laurent helps him along the way. There is a lot of action in this screenplay. The characters are interesting and well-defined. I liked the names. Nice job of describing the locations and setting. Suggestions for improvement:... read
A review of Not Cops (rewrite)by Pmitch on 07/08/2011Police fingerprinters decide to take on some action. Dad, a police captain, is involved in some crooked activities. Sean, James, and a fifteen year old by Joel decide to play detective. The author did a good job with the names of the characters. The press action with Chief Muirhead was well-defined along with the nice pool house. I felt you did a good job of developing... read
A review of First Thousand Yearsby Pmitch on 07/07/2011Gale is sent to New York to buy a statue at an auction for a queen from another kingdom. Little does she know that another Lord has his eyes on obtaining it. Gale meets Jason for whom she has a little surprise waiting further in the journey. He is about to enter a strange new world. I enjoyed the first two acts up to page 70. Oliver and Olivia Lavender appear as drug addicts... read