Review of: Belted 

reviewed by bigheadx on 06/22/2011
Credited Review
bigheadx
rock fight Credited Review
Thank you for the opportunity to read this brief short story. Except in some cases (specifics below), the writing is competent and descriptive but, in this reader's opinion, ~525 words are not enough to fully convey the nature of the character's world, the character himself, or the reasons for his predicament. Still, it is an imaginative tale if only because it has taken the contemporary social malady of "debt slavery" and projected into a future world of asteroid mining.

TYPOS - GRAMMAR - WORD CHOICE - [suggestions]

His arms hang at his sides, limply, barely defending the barrage of oncoming blows - [if his arms hang limply at his sides, then how can they deflect blows?]

The line that when you finally cross over, which eventually - The line that, when you finally cross over, which eventually...

There will be no burial, no memorial, no anything - [new paragraph]

So you work, and you incur debt - [same]

There's money in fighting, - [same]

those lucky winner's names - those lucky winners' names

He might just be ok. - He might just be okay.

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