Review of: DOCKERS (REV.)
reviewed by iceeis on 06/10/2004
RomComs are supposed to be the "P" word!
The story was good and easy to follow, but nothing spectacular to significantly set it apart from other romcoms. I too scorn the reviewers claiming "predictability" in RomComs... the guy is supposed to end up with the girl. I can tell this is a highly polished version and it looks very professional. I'd like it if Finnegan didn't come on to April when they first meet. Let the relationship flow naturally. Maybe show a tad bit more of Finnegan's life before April enters the picture. It could also use a montage in the middle to show why April would choose him over Alan (I know, cheesy, but effective). The exchange between April and Hansen starting on p.92 was too long and summed up the story "Scooby Doo" style. I liked the subtle humor sprinkled throughout the script. I liked Finnegan changing every day to impress April. Funny, when I retire from the Air Force, I too plan on getting a Winnebago and touring North America. Minor thing: use "9-1-1" instead of spelling it out. It looks odd. I like your efficient writing style. Some dialogue got messed up on P.73 and P.100.It was cute, though, and cute matters in RomComs.
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