Good writing, more imagination on story concept would benefit your talents.
Overall I found the writing to be clear and well done. The flow is nice, having a certain style. Nothing is convoluted. It reads very easy and professional.
I personally found the subject matter repugnant, but that is just me. I won't go into that any further.
According to my editor, dialogue followed by a speech tag (asked, said, cried out, and so forth) is done thus.
“Americans right?” He asked - right?" he asked.
take the yacht out.” She said - out," she said
“You wouldn’t be.” He said. - be," he said.
know unless we ask.” She said. - we ask," she said.
- If followed by an action (frowned, nodded, and so forth) then it is a new sentence.
Review of: The Yacht
reviewed by Cenydd Ros on 12/30/2010
Other Reviews by Cenydd Ros 141
A review of The Currentby Cenydd Ros on 07/17/2011Some of this is nicely wriiten, making use of some flavorful prose. Mostly, I liked the language/writing craft of the action lines. e.g. encapsulating Tendrils of smoke waft toes webbed with soap bubbles a squalid living room "Getting your hole" - Didn't get this line. To be frank, I feel that flashbacks generally suck. I just don't think it is a good approach to story telling... read
A review of BATTLESAURSby Cenydd Ros on 07/06/2011- Having worked both academically and professional as an archaeologist, I can tell you I was biting into my tongue on page 1. I would suggest having a paleontologist on the team in the opening segment. - I am not sure which would be the most amazing discovery, that there were humans one million years ago or that there were still dinosaurs one million years ago. :) - This is... read
A review of EARTHSHAKERSby Cenydd Ros on 06/23/2011This being the third script of yours I have read, I must note that you have one hell of an imagination - and you create some very interesting (i.e. entertaining) visuals and elements in your work. There is much in the way of "eyepopping" candy in your stories that would make them something to see on the big screen. Overall, you have a good sense of creating images for the screen... read