For a first draft, I was impressed with “Sadie.” There are some problems with it though. The dialogue is a bit silted and the ending was unrealistic for the gravity of the story. A woman felt wrong by life, in particular, abuse from a co-worker.
The formatting and concept is fine. You’re missing a missing a cover page. And I would definitely not scan my documents in the future with the hand written words on them and post it on Trigger Street to be reviewed. No question, it’s a mark of a novice. However, I do believe you have a good short story that at times made the hair on the back of my neck curl. All the best!
Review of: Sadie - First Draft
reviewed by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 01/30/2012
Other Reviews by **DELETED ACCOUNT** 3429
A review of It's Just A Movieby **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 03/03/2014This was a clever use of metaphors and the horror genre to make a telling point about censorship based on one person's narrow philosophy about content and message, with the medium being the victim because of the message. Also, the extreme violence and resulting blood-letting from a mechanical device conveyed a senseless and narrow attempt to eliminate censorship - a kind of... read
A review of Road to Williamsportby **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 02/23/2014This is my first review in a while, so I confess to being out of practice, and apologize in advance if my review sucks. Concept: Good The closest movie I can think of off the top of my head is "Bad News Bears" [both versions, though I prefer the original]. Is this concept original? No, but then I take the view that nothing is original, everything is just a new take on an... read
A review of Snowflakes and Bulletsby **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 02/11/2014When i read the logline for this I expected a story somewhat like A Dog Day Afternoon. It's not as big that movie, and not nearly as complex and multi-layered. I had some slight issues with stereotypes. Lynne was extremely vulnerable compared to the her male counterparts. Also the men Sol, Old Rick pretty much all of them except John, Cameron, and Thomas were chauvinist with... read