The first thing I would like to say about this script is that I loved the way it was written. It's not so much anything that I can really pinpoint but it had style and was clear and concise at all times. It was very easy to read and a breeze to follow what was going on. This was even more important than usual due to the complicated nature of the story.
There were a few times the time travel stuff got confusing but for the most part it was handled exceptionally well. The section where we see the other Jacob's viewpoint (the stuff we had seen from a different viewpoint earlier) could have been botched quite easily but you clearly have the skill to pull it off and make an entirely new scene out of actions we have already seen and experienced.
A criticism I do have however would be that given that the relationship between Sarah and Jacob becomes the true heart of the story - what the protagonist is fighting for in effect, it should be made a little more crucial. It should be more of a revelation to Jacob that he needs Sarah to be happy. I'm not sure if that is achieved as dramatically as it should be. Currently he seems to reach his epiphany pretty much by Sarah reminding him about his old car. Of course there is more to it than this ( and I really like the leg massage stuff by the way) but I just think that this is such an important moment in the script - possibly the most important moment that it needs to be bigger.
Jacob goes from living in almost instant irritation and ambivalence towrds Sarah to being ready to die and kill for her in the space of a single scene really.
A final point for consideration would be all the swearing in the script. Don't get me wrong, I'm no prude and I truly believe that swearing can definitely be both big and clever but here it just seems a little out of place. There is little other 'adult' content and this seems to push it a little further than it should naturally be in my mind.
All in all however, a tightly plotted stylish piece of work which could benefit from ramping up the emotion just a bit more.
Review of: A Constant Variable
reviewed by Matt Compton on 05/07/2009
Other Reviews by Matt Compton 18
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A review of A Night At the Asylum - Version 6by Matt Compton on 06/12/2010Right away, this screenplay had plenty of promise. Its unashamedly derivative set-up directly references a thousand '80s schlock slasher teen movies and that is certainly no bad thing. This alone however is not quite enough to cut it unfortunately as simply aping a sub-genre with no fresh twists or angles just seems a little redundant. The screenplay flows quite nicely however... read
A review of Noel the Vampireby Matt Compton on 04/23/2009This script is a real curiosity. The logline and preamble set up the story as something very over the top and slightly tongue in cheek. It is difficult to know what to expect and that I feel is a good thing. The script launches immediately into its story and its introductions of the main characters. These are many and varied. There are plenty of supernatural creatures... read