This was pretty damned funny to me. Your sense of humor stood out. And, somehow, you injected a cute little love story. A cute spin on what should be made into a movie, or a television series. The characters are there. Now, I could have done without all the religion, with Solomon and all, but maybe because you know the Bible so well, you threw it in. There were definitely some lines that I thought were cool as hell: Travis "There's the law and then there's justice". Eliz: "Vengance won't give you peace. It's a slow poison that will kill you sure as any bullet". Mathias: "God likes me better than you". Jefferson: "Besides, a sense of humor is important. Without it, I'd end up like you." : "Your pursuit of such a creature is a fool's errand."
Now, I really didn't need "...a maelstrom of papers". I would have settled for "...a pile of papers." Don't use fancy words in setting up a scene, especially in a western. It doesn't fit the scene, if you know what I mean. Other than that, I enjoyed it and good luck on pitching it.
Review of: Out of the Badlands (3rd Draft)
reviewed by firstname.lastname@example.org on 06/08/2011
Other Reviews by email@example.com 9
A review of PROP HOUSE V-2by firstname.lastname@example.org on 06/08/2011I think your spin on at a night in a museum was much more fun than the movies that subsequently went out. I mean really. What's a night at the museum without the three stooges? Of course you had the open-mindedness to include none other than that of William Shatner. He is the quintessential vodka in the grapefruit for any sci-fi/museum movie. Bring on the flying saucers and... read
A review of Dr. Towers' Babel (rev)by email@example.com on 05/01/2011First, I liked your use of the word "twixt". Imaginative, a trip, a journey . . . imaginative. I didn't mind the length at all. I enjoy reading and going to the places the author invites me to visit . . . journey. Mind expanding. Mmmmmmmmmm .. . . . Thought provoking in a delicious sort of way . . . not forced . . . I wanted to take the trip . . . adventure out. I... read
A review of Bubba's Bubbleby firstname.lastname@example.org on 04/24/2011I loves the "geo" history of the lay of the land. I also enjoyed the bit of history about Florida and how the state got its name. I know some "splunkers" so I was very interested in seeing how "cave diving" differed. You created a great sense of the dangers and risks, as well as, the consequences for those who ignorantly forge ahead. I thing the 1/3 1/3 1/3 philosophy... read