When a story promises “the most valuable lesson in my life” in the first sentence, the cynic in me says “yeah, right.” Fortunately, the author delivered a powerful message just as promised. And, he did it with style.
The story plays out like a piece of music. It flows. The dialogue is distinct. The main character speaks in a rhythm all his own. It is a well composed piece that grabs your interest from the start and keeps it.
Being a jazz afficionado makes this story extra pleasing. I love the feel of the nightclub and the writer’s enthusiasm about musicians who have a passion to play.
The weakest part for me was the section on the brevity of Toledo’s playing experience. The narration loses the colorful slang that the dialogue delivers so well. I wonder if the narrative could be integrated into the dialogue in some way.
Another suggestion, though not necessary, is to give the story a location that people could identify with, like the streets of New Orleans or the jazz clubs of Harlem. Adding a community contributes to the reader’s experience and helps to emphasize that playing the horn is more than a job, it is a way of life.
Keep on typing.
Review of: The Sound of the Night
reviewed by BozDonovan on 02/22/2011
Other Reviews by BozDonovan 18
A review of Victim of Happy Camp Revisedby BozDonovan on 03/05/2011This is a nice readable story. One that is easy to follow and know what’s going on without long indulgent narratives that distract more than add. It was very easy to like Ingrid and very easy to recognize that Kirk, as with most of the characters in the story, are bad people. The readers can sympathize with Ingrid from the start. However, I don’t think most people would... read
A review of Just a Manby BozDonovan on 02/25/2011For the most part, this is a great story. It is nicely constructed. I like the sentence structure. I like the way the words flow together. I like the originality of descriptions. It sounded like it was being told by someone who lived in another time, another place, another reality. And it moved me. I could identify with the characters and felt empathy for what they were going... read
A review of Tell Me a Storyby BozDonovan on 02/23/2011This piece is far from “normal.” It isn’t really a story in the traditional sense of having a beginning, a middle, and an end. It is more like a writing exercise on the inner workings of a demented maniac. An accurate title could be “Portrait of a Serial Killer.” Unfortunately, that title has already been taken by a similar piece some 25 years ago. The piece is very short... read