After I read the first three sentences, I wanted to delete this assignment. However, my feelings about the genre should not hinder me from reading further.
Like fleas jumping erratically on a dog after it were sprayed with flea treatment, The End was confusing and hard to follow. I will not blame your grammatically errors for my lack of understanding, my lack of understanding rears its head from the simple fact- the plot or story line was not clear. One problem with your story line was the transition between different scenes. The asterisk * as a symbol for transition needs to be abolished, eliminated, destroyed, as a writer you must take the time to find a better and smoother way to make transitions.
Another confusing part of your short story was the Japanese, why are they in the story. It appears the story setting is outer space. I have this strange feeling that you use Microsoft grammar and spell check in rush. (Iíve done that myself. It was a huge mistake.)
Review of: The End
reviewed by dreamtowrite on 02/03/2011
Other Reviews by dreamtowrite 22
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