This story feels very real. The dialog sounds natural, the characters seem well fleshed out. It was entertaining and I appreciated the boy's character arc.
I don't have many notes because overall the script is very well written.
My main suggestion would be to start the custody conflict sooner and let it build bigger and get out of control. I loved that there was a brief moment of doubt, where it wasn't clear which parent was more guilty. It would be great if that doubt went back and forth throughout much of the script.
The ending was very satisfying - Susan seemed so pathetic and humbled at the end, desperately trying to use her son to get back together with her ex.
Review of: A Boy's Eyes
reviewed by Michael Keller on 10/22/2011
Other Reviews by Michael Keller 243
A review of Intersectionby Michael Keller on 12/10/2012This is a very interesting script. Here are my running notes: -Good attention grabbing opening scene. -Destiny having a doppelganger seems very dark and Jungian. Perhaps her "double" should have some starkly opposite, dark character traits. -Madeline is a very endearing character. I like how she waxes philosophical. -Am I misreading it, or is Destiny dating her shrink?... read
A review of The Four Hour Workweekby Michael Keller on 12/03/2012The Four Hour Workweek is funny and heartwarming, with endearing characters. Overall, I enjoyed it, but my main concern is that there isn't much conflict, since we already know what will happen to Bobby, and he seems to achieve his smaller goals quite easily, so it reads like a sort of amusing travelogue. -It might be funny if Mr. Greenberg starts out normal and then suddenly... read
A review of Penis Envy (NEW DRAFT)by Michael Keller on 11/12/2012This is a funny concept and a cleanly executed story. I donít have so many notes, because the script seems to accomplish its intended purpose: -No need to editorialize in the first paragraph. Trust your audience. -Perhaps establish his impotence in the first scene with some kid of humiliation? -You do a good job of making Randall likable. -The pacing is good and the dialog... read