I found this to be a touching, though tragic, love story with a kind of O. Henry flavor. There's something a bit awkward, in my opinion, with the structure. I was surprised to find Rai had set up the work shop after Thomas learned he was going blind. I realize that is important to the story, but the way it's written it's not clear. Where was he doing his wood work before Rai set up the shop? Does he have a job? What happens with his job now that he's losing his sight? He says his blindness is genetic. If he knows that, then he surely knew blindness was a possibility. Has Thomas kept that a secret from Rai? I like the story idea, but as presented, I think it needs to be looked at carefully and worked on. I'd also like to see more dialogue. Great story idea. Needs work.
Other Reviews by mnjones 381
-
A review of Henry's Delimma.....The End of The Lineby mnjones on 01/08/2011I am a fan of gritty tales with bad guys making life hard for a good guy who who turns the tables on the bad guys by doing something even worse to them. I especially like those written with a fast-paced, light touch that depicts with subtle humor mostly amoral characters. "Henry's Delimma" is one of those. It is fast, sly, and full of the twists reminiscent of Elmore Leonard's... read
-
A review of Saladin Hazeby mnjones on 12/03/2010Strong, gripping, and well-written account of a man at war, a civil war in which he has begun to suspect he may be on the wrong side. I am still puzzled by the disembodied voice that seemed to surround Haze and his men at the roadblock; but the ending is well done, with Haze, who sacrifices his sister so that he can, in her memory and the memory of Anne Frank, "find them"... read
-
A review of Possum and Pizzaiolaby mnjones on 12/01/2010This is a well written account of a dinner shared by folks of very different cultures. There is a very nice scene with some wonderful, very visual descriptions of a dining room and buffet. But what you see in this story is what you get: there's no conflict, mystery, tension, or suspense. But this is a happy story about happy people. How can you complain about that? I do think... read