Strong, gripping, and well-written account of a man at war, a civil war in which he has begun to suspect he may be on the wrong side. I am still puzzled by the disembodied voice that seemed to surround Haze and his men at the roadblock; but the ending is well done, with Haze, who sacrifices his sister so that he can, in her memory and the memory of Anne Frank, "find them" and rescue them.
Well planned and thought provoking. Thanks to the writer.
Page 2, "It wasn't that he'd lost his nerve...' This looks like a run-on, with three sentences jammed together.
Page 2, "Let's go." Probably a dialogue tag would be appropriate here.
Page 3, Haze has "unveiled disgust" for Biggsy for defending Hodgson for turning in his mother, who may not be guilty, but Haze does not hesitate to to order his men to kill "anything so much as looks in this direction." That seems inconsistent, as it does not foreshadow his conversion at the end. The order made me think of My Lai and Coporal Calley.
Page 7, "...merry go round..."--merry-go-round.
Page 8, "Her dark her..." Hair?
Review of: Saladin Haze
reviewed by mnjones on 12/03/2010
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