Hi Michele. Interesting. After the first read, I thought you may have been really stoned. You really got out of the box on this. If I were writing something this far out, I would need to get stoned occasionally to get the imagination stimulated.
I was hanging in there but wasn't sure why. I thought the dialogue and structure was good, just wasn't sure where it was going. When you ended paragraphs with, "Music is essential in Utopia." I thought it was going to be a rather light hearted visit to a paradise of sorts.
Then, about at the point of "I Had A Son Once," I began to understand that God was visiting people to get their perspective, and everything was going fine until Miriam arrived. I found myself disappointed that the character God became somewhat trapped in Miriam.
I thought it was a pretty good read. Not at first, but the concept of God visiting souls of people to understand their perspective on life is interesting. Perhaps you could expand on this as a foundation for another story or screenplay.
I wish you the best. You certainly don't lack in imagination.
Review of: The Modern Classic
reviewed by kenbarber on 01/30/2012
Other Reviews by kenbarber 15
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