This story was very well written. I was caught up in the story right from the first sentence. The emotional seperation was portrayed in a very realistic way. I especially liked the paragraph about how they would eat to avoid spending time together.
The British couple are too one dimensional. It would be nice if you could flesh them out a little more - they have an open marriage, but what is going on beneath that? What are their goals?
I also feel that the story ended too abruptly. I like the fact that the wife went through with it and the husband didn't, but would like to see what sort of conclusion this brings them to. It would certainly make him feel insecure and would widen the emotional separation. This should force them to work things out or split up or maybe even decide to have an open marriage. Instead they are in the exact same position they were at the start of the story - denial.
Review of: The Yacht
reviewed by CarlaC on 09/04/2009
Other Reviews by CarlaC 14
A review of Good Americaby CarlaC on 04/15/2007I really liked this screenplay. It was an easy read, flowed well and I was so into the story, I couldn't beleive it when I got to the last page. I loved Hopper's Character. Suggestions: Pg. 22 you have put Radio for all of these in the slug line then you put (on phone) by roses dialogue, I think you meant to put radio here as well. Pg. 63 Sonny talks about Willie as the... read
A review of The Towerby CarlaC on 04/08/2007Overall- I liked the story. It was funny at parts especially the scenes that took place at the Beyond The Third meetings. Some of the characters there were a hoot. Suggestions: First scenes in the hospital I feel are too long and full of redundancy, .ie. Ellie wanting Dorothy to stay and saying she doesn't have much time while Dorothy argues with her. I think the dialouge... read