reviewed by Cenydd Ros on 04/03/2011
Credited Review
Cenydd Ros
Too much Dracula Credited Review
I think there is great potential for a script focusing on elements surrounding the novel Dracula. Stoker's life, Vlad's life, or even side stories of the fictional Renfield are all things that would catch my eye if playing at the cinema. Writing about Stoker or Vlad would require a good deal of research to do well. I gather from your script that some research was involved. The opening scenes, for instance, lend to the legend of Stoker's supposed "suppressed" homosexuality - something I must regard as pure fantasy by those who purport this.

- I thought your dialogue was very well constructed and portrayed the Victorian era, and class of these individuals accurately.

- I would place Stoker and other characters in lowercase after introducing them. I tend to always place extras in uppercase throughout - which you do not.

- "WHITMAN Perhaps you could sign my copy to Mr. Irving." - is this Whitman's line? Sounds like it should be Bram's line.

- I would remove the scenes from Dracula. I don't really see a need for them. I gather you are attempting to juxtapose inspirations for the novel with the story itself - but I found the excerpts from Dracula to be far too numerous and pointless. This script would be better if it focused more on Bram and Henry and the Victorian world they lived in and less on Dracula, the Novel. I would have to state that far too much of this is cribbed from existing works. I realize it is a work about the theatre, but still and all too much dialogue is recital. Overall, there is much here I like, but I feel more than one third (or even half) of this should be removed and replaced with original material. I am not sure I would sit through a fragmented version of Dracula intermixed with a story about Stoker's life and writing of the work. I would much rather just watch a movie about Bram.

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