Review of: Bobcat hunting
reviewed by jrnyman2 on 05/28/2009
I enjoyed reading your story, “Bobcat Hunting.” You seem to have a knack for capturing the essence of speech patterns in your characters. Having lived in Tennessee for about 12 years, I can relate to some of the colorful expressions (I LOVED “…mad enough to bite ten penny nails in two.”), slang, and anecdotes. You have sort of a Mark Twain ease with your writing style that matches the pace of the characters’ lives… slow, Southern… easy.
The difference between you and Mark Twain however, lies in the nuts and bolts of writing. Your story delivers a laid-back diversion for the reader, but the grammar and stylistic issues were too major a distraction.
I think you probably have a lot of clever stories such as this one, but I encourage you to learn how to deliver them more effectively on paper. A reader can enjoy your story more if he or she can breeze through it at the desired pace rather than having to go back and re-read passages several times in order to make sense of them!
Keep writing and working at it-
Other Reviews by jrnyman2 37
A review of The Secrets We Don't Sayby jrnyman2 on 05/29/2009Hello, PeacefullySubjected: I just finished your short story, “The Secrets We Don’t Say,” and if I DO say, it was a read that has tremendous potential. I think (IMHO) short stories can be written effectively if they can do either of two things: drive the reader down a Mr. Toad’s Wild ride and end with a satisfying twist, or, capture a single moment of time like a verbal... read
A review of T.Bby jrnyman2 on 07/02/2008Hi Kavdhi: I see you have not been active on TS for quite awhile, so I hope you eventually read this review. In case you do not return, I will keep this brief. I have just finished your story, “T.B.” You did well to bring an American (like me!) into your world. Good descriptions of the people and places within the story. There were a few major weaknesses, however. And... read
A review of Andrew's Walk Homeby jrnyman2 on 07/02/2008Hi Joe: I just got done reading your delightfully dark comedy, “Andrew's Walk Home.” I must say, despite being distracted by the English dialect (and oh-so-British Idioms!) I had a great time with this read. Your main character was a bit of a scoundrel, but an overall likeable cad. If I could offer a single suggestion, it would be to tone down the number of British-isms... read