Review of: Vindicated 

reviewed by Cenydd Ros on 08/12/2010
Credited Review
Cenydd Ros
unknown elements leave us wondering Credited Review
Well - as I figured by the second page, and as I read (after reading the short) in your notes, this is a script, not a short story.

I have done this myself, rewritten scripts into stories. I must stress that these are completely different types of writing and if you really want to develop this into a short, then you have a great deal of work to do. About another twenty pages worth to fur this out right and put it into proper prose.

That said, I found the story interesting. I thought the imagery was good. A tad confused (and maybe this is intentional) about whether or not Jim is a danger to kids. Someone accuses him of this, and at the end of the story he seems to be watching a couple of kids. This is really unclear - but then, you may want to leave it unclear, especially if you do this as a short. One thing I love about John Cassavettes work is that he does not always tell you the end of the story, or even what the hard points of the story are - he just kind of lets it float, and that adds something in itself.

As a film idea, I think this is really good. You should film it. As a short story, it needs major reworking.

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