Time flew by while I was reading this. You have a real gift for keeping the reader engaged. I take it the couple had decided to kill Mr Hunt? That's what I took from the mildly ambiguous ending. If that's what you meant, it doesn't require clarification.
I saw one mistake; on page 9, you wrote 'Denny' instead of Danny. I'm sure you've noticed, so don't worry about re-uploading just for that, and losing all your reviews (I always notice a dumb mistake after adding credits to a story).
At the beginning, the way I read the text was that Betsy and the diner owner, not Betsy and Danny, had been high school sweethearts. I didn't figure out the truth until near the end. This could be tidied up just a little, to be 100% clear. Otherwise, this story is impeccably told. Well done.
Review of: Not My Secret to Tell
reviewed by vieira4 on 04/14/2012
Other Reviews by vieira4 80
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