This is what happens when comic books come alive. This has the unflinching entertainment value that most people with taste frown upon. I dug it. There's not a lot I can say off of one read but I do have a few notes.
Taking shots at movies you don't like might make you feel better but it does little to help your career. You really don't know who could be reading this. Maybe some assistant that worked on Inglorious Bastards and is really proud of it. Honestly the jokes aren't funny enough to make it worth it.
I wasn't sold on Lilly's test of Sid's humanity. It just wasn't a strong enough test to say "Shoot that person". It's not horrible at all, I just think a stronger test exists. Something that really proves Sid is a human being. Maybe him taking mercy on someone or something that might otherwise be a target.
Something felt really inconsistent about the tone of Victor's character. He's set-up to be this inhuman badass in the beginning and then he starts making witty retorts. Witty retorts humanizes him and make him less threatening. For some reason I think of Max Cady from Cape Fear when I think of the type of demeanor I'd like to see from Victor. That's just my opinion though. I think all great villains are Nietzchean in some way. I'd really dig hearing Victor pop off some cool philosophic babble somewhere in there. He does a little but when I think of the great Nietzchean characters like Max Cady, Kahn (from star trek) and Wolf Larsen from the Seawolf, they all have an articulate way of presenting their philosophy. I really recommend the Seawolf by Jack London as an example.
Very little setting description. This is the number 1 note I give. I guess people just don't believe in description anymore. It can be done without bogging down the read and it adds a lot to the overall experience. A couple lines in each location would be nice. This will also help bring your action to life.
Really enjoyed Sid's backstory reveal. The part where he couldn't get in to see an R rated movie. Very original.
Lilly's stepdad thing was a bit cheesy but at the same time when trying to imagine what this movie would look like it might work. I did like that Sid killed him at the end. That was cool and unexpected. I'm sure a lot of people will be horrified by it but I liked it.
Maybe a little less clever dialogue in some of the action scenes. Once in a while is cool but there were a few moments where I just couldn't buy into the idea of them stopping to exchange words.
It is hard to imagine what this movie will look like but if they can make Watchmen I suppose they can make anything. I really like that you didn't lame it up for a family audience.
Good job and good luck
Review of: Rated R
reviewed by Jordan Anthony Thomas on 08/24/2009
Other Reviews by Jordan Anthony Thomas 26
A review of Old Acquaintance be Forgotby Jordan Anthony Thomas on 11/30/2011Okay, there was five minutes of enjoyment. First, I laughed my ass off at the concept. It is somewhat of a fish out of water story. Second, I like drugs and sex. Third, the characters where wonderful and well defined with an edgy off-the-cuff sort of style. Fourth, the narration is smooth and well delivered. What are we on now...Fifth...lighting was solid....sixth...good sound... read
by Jordan Anthony Thomas on 12/12/2009Finally a movie about a man who has the same phobia of pregnant women as I do! It really was time to show preggos in the creepy light. Give it a low budget and get it on late night cable and you got a solid win for the writer. It is what it is and doesn't apologized for it. I love that. May it be judged as an absurdist comedy along the lines of Frankenhooker and The Toxic Avenger... read
A review of Snoqualmie Fallsby Jordan Anthony Thomas on 12/11/2009Always a good time reading a local script. We sure need more movies set in the Northwest. I got the feeling that the broadstrokes were there but the entire story felt very rushed. This one came in at 94 pages so there is a lot of room for growth. Concept: Love the concept. It felt like a Stephen King story in the beginning. I was expecting Dennis to lurk in the shadows more... read