Lost House is a well written tale of backstabbing, greed, and redemption. I enjoyed reading it. The story rolled along with good pacing and sustained my interest despite the turbulent cross country flight I was on.
I would have liked ot have known a little more about the device that Cole and Will developed, but it was not essential to the plot. You could have revealed more about it without naming it however. Hint that it is powerful, dangerous, or valuable in a stronger manner. I did not understand how Cole knew so much about Frank when the two were together. I assume Cole researched the scheme before launching it, but that exchange (with Frank's dark past) seemed forced to me. The biggest problem I had with the overall script was the ending. The payoff for all this build-up was something of a letdown. From the time Will mets Jeffery to the end was not as solid as the begining. Will breaking his arm. The lighter thing. Will and Cecilla's reunion "Hello Cowboy.", etc. Also, David was not involved at all and I really wanted to see him have his moment to shine. The only other thing that comes to mind was the dialogue. Most of it was strong. The characters all have unique voices and are all well defined through their words and actions. I do recomend however cutting some words. There are numerous long patches of dialogue. Take another look at any dialogue over 20-25 words to make sure every word and sentence are needed. One example is on p.86. Jeffrey has a long rant about the 8th level of hell. It is too wordy. If he has one of these it might work, but he has several. Cut out the redundant lines while leaving enough to get the point accross. I see LH was nominated for SOM. Congrats and good luck with the re-writes! Now I can let myself read the Script Shark coverage!
Review of: Lost House - revised
reviewed by jiggson on 01/31/2006
Other Reviews by jiggson 64
A review of Love Hack's Revengeby jiggson on 04/11/2013This was a well written screenplay with few typos or formatting errors. The characters all had clear voices and I could easily follow the plot and story. The one element of the structure that could use some work is the use of Voice Over. Voice Over is a difficult thing to pull off successfully and it does not work in this script. The short segment at the beginning between... read
A review of School for the Blind (first draft)by jiggson on 04/02/2013School for the Blind was well written and clear. The formatting was correct for the most part. There were a couple of places where dialogue was in the Action section and vice versa. These are easily correctable. The characters had different personalities and voices and the screenplay was an easy read. I did have a hard time telling if this was meant to be a comedy or a... read
A review of The Girl of Givetby jiggson on 04/04/2011The Girl of Givet was an easy enough read and the time period, though used often, still has plenty of potential for compelling stories. I did feel that it should have focused more on Adeline and her story, given the title. This is a hard screenplay for me to review for some reason, so I am just going to list out some of the areas I felt could use some improvement. Opening... read