Great timing, great story, excellent dialogue. Why are you putting this perfect story here and not out somewhere like a book maybe? :)
I read the synopsis, but even that you cleverly worded so as not to give the story away.
You maintained a very good pace through the story, building the tension, feeding the reader little nuggets to foreshadow later events.
I really don't know what to tell you about this story in terms of a constructive review. You demonstrate all the qualities I admire in a writer -- great timing, great sense of irony, great grammar and word choices. I guess a suggestion would be to seek publication for this.
Excellent job. Very inspiring! Thanks for sharing this!
Review of: Nice Boy
reviewed by TMOwen on 02/14/2011
Other Reviews by TMOwen 10
A review of Dr. Tower's Babelby TMOwen on 02/15/2011I love this. Thank you. You have a very different story concept here and you develop it brilliantly. This was a very enjoyable read. As far as the story-telling goes, I have no feedback other than to suggest you get this published. I did find a few little typos and word choices that I thought I'd pass on to you. Page 2 and 3 -- you use the word ingot, and I'm not sure... read
A review of Reluctant Spyby TMOwen on 02/10/2011What a fun read! Your writing style is very tight and concise. Great word choice, great flow. I now want a pet rat. That said, here are a few areas that could use a little work. These are minor, nit-picky things and shouldn't detract from what a fun story this is. Page 10: in in the middle of his room. . (redundant "in" and redundant . ) Page 24: "dandling" s/b "dangling"... read
A review of Riversby TMOwen on 02/08/2011Thank you for sharing this short story. First, some general observations, then I'll offer details. You have a fine voice and expansive vocabulary. Your writing style is descriptive. You made it possible to feel compassion for the main character in spite of his questionable decisions that lead to his daughter's death. You use the word "had" a lot and it is not necessary... read