what if god was one of us?
Wow, Nick. Fan-friggin'-tastic.
“There was nothing to say.” – Great first line! Though there were six pages of things being said after that so I’m not sure I can trust you anymore.
Very nice description of the frustration of trying to maintain patience amid tense and emotion circumstances.
“it was as if he had pealed his own skin away the way my mother’s was pealing now” – Nice comparison, and the fact that it was used to segue back to the mother from the brother was a clever technique.
“In fact there is a peace inside my anger. Like happiness.” That’s heavy, man. Awesome (not a word I use often!).
But besides the individualparts, the sum result is great as well. A god going through an existential crises of sorts. Brilliant concept and difficult to pull off since empathy shouldn't really be something he can fathom, but you pulled it off.
The conclusion's depth eluded me for a little while, but I stuck with it till I think I fully grasped it, why he smiled at feeling alone.
A great little story, Nick. Can't wait to get asigned your next one.
Other Reviews by cc chayce
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As a sequel to The Gospel of Maire, this is great, but even as a stand alone story it's simply a wonderfully crafted piece. These are some of the deepest characters I've encountered at this site, and the author's deep devotion to them is apparent.
I also have to remark on the pacing of the story - it's masterful. It flows so gently, and ever faster as the human and natural...
As a sequel to The Gospel of Maire, this is great, but even as a stand alone story it's simply a wonderfully crafted piece. These are some of the deepest characters I've encountered at this site, and the author's deep devotion to them is apparent.
I also have to remark on the pacing of the story - it's masterful. It flows so gently, and ever faster as the human and natural events coincide. I love this series and greatly look forward to reading the next entry. Amazing job, f-ceska!
~ cal
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I regret that I'm reviewing this 'Free Will', as they call it, because I would prefer to be helping it's rating (which I've yet to look at). I loved this story. The author's own sense of compassion and concern for a future we're quite likely heading toward are very much apparent.
The main character was well-developed, allowing the reader to easily relate to her situation...
I regret that I'm reviewing this 'Free Will', as they call it, because I would prefer to be helping it's rating (which I've yet to look at). I loved this story. The author's own sense of compassion and concern for a future we're quite likely heading toward are very much apparent.
The main character was well-developed, allowing the reader to easily relate to her situation. The bleak futuristic setting, all too reminiscent of an Ireland long past, was (sadly) believable and felt very real.
The author's talent for evoking an emotional response was apparent right from the start, which only aids in encouraging the reader to press on, eager (yet trepidacious) to discover where the story was going.
All in all, a beautiful, ominous story well-told. I look forward to reading more by this author. Thanks for an enjoyable tale.
~ cal chayce
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I'm afraid this one left me a little unsatisfied, Nick. Because I was soaking up ever word, enjoying it immensely, until he goes back in time. So that was a lot of good story before that point!
I would have expected the journey itself would be quick, as it was the destination I was interested in finding out about, but the journey turned out to be most of the rest of the story...
I'm afraid this one left me a little unsatisfied, Nick. Because I was soaking up ever word, enjoying it immensely, until he goes back in time. So that was a lot of good story before that point!
I would have expected the journey itself would be quick, as it was the destination I was interested in finding out about, but the journey turned out to be most of the rest of the story.
I think maybe it's not a problem with your story - more like I was probably hoping you were going to explain my reason for existing for me. Would that be too much to ask??
Hope and love are fine things, of course, but I demand a more concrete explanation for it all, damn it!
Of course, your storytelling is magical as always. I loved subtle little winks dispersed here and there, such as when he's stuck for words and looks at his feet, after an earler comment by Towers that the mind is in the feet.
I think you're great at that sort of thing (or if that wasn't inttential, then your subconscious is great at it!) but I suspect you said it quite deliberately.
It was nice to see an early nod to Sagan, as the plot summary already had me thinking about Contact.
Not sure why exactly, but while reading, I wondered if you were familiar with the novels of Jonathan Lethem, As She Climbed Across The Table in particular. It's not even my favourite Lethem, but it's brilliant and I think you'd really appreciate it. http://amzn.to/f3Nmqa
(Amnesia Moon my fave Lethem)
Anyway, I know you said this was your favourite piece so I wished I could say it was mine too, but I think I preferred your other "god" story better. Sorry! Still better than most others I read here though, and that's a compliment because some of them are pretty damn good.
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