Whats the Point?
Right from the beginning, the scene was way to long for the man walking to the motel. Where are the speaking roles? They stopped making silent films in the early 1900's. The clip did not have a plot. What was the purpose of the man in the motel? Was he a drug dealer? Was he selling candy? Was he taking up donations? The box on the bed when he opened it, only had money in it, nothing else was shown to explain the purpose of the exchange of money. Why did he have a bathtub full of dead people? This clip needs alot of work in my opinion to make it to the competition.
Other Reviews by shadesdown2001 9
A review of Riders To The Seaby shadesdown2001 on 07/27/2008This script drags on way to long before it grabs the attention of the reader. All and all, it is a good story line but there are to many to mention confusing things happening that caused me to have to go back and re-read pages just to catch up... here are a few of those that I did jot down... Pg. 1 - Many of the enclosures contain sheep, cows, horses, and "not a few goats."... read
A review of Downfallby shadesdown2001 on 07/27/2008Although Downfall seems like a good story line, it seems a little copy cat from all those other movies made from 9-11. I have noticed quite a few mistakes throughout the script that needs to be changed. To many to post here but a reread by the writer would do this screenplay a world of good. Using profanity in dialog is accepted but to use it in ACTIONS - such as "ASS" on Pg... read
A review of Eurekaville (2nd draft)by shadesdown2001 on 10/30/2007The scene changes are very confusing. Right from the beginning, when Helen speaks about a scene then the scene changes to what she just spoke of repetitively causes the reader to lost track. ( HELEN Exterior. Fire escape of Rose’s apartment -dusk. As she does so, the scene appears in black and white film footage, starring CHARLES AND BETTY CHASE as RICHARD and ROSE. EXT... read