The writing, in my opinion, is pretty good, except for one unnecessary adverb and some verbiage that could be trimmed. This is especially true of the ending, where around 180 words are used when about 50 would suffice nicely. Terseness would give greater impact to the surprise Sean has for his friend--and the reader.
But I enjoyed the read, hope for the opportunity to read more from this writer.
Page 3, "...nervously figeted..." I don't think "nervously" in needed. "Fidgeted" does a good job by itself.
Review of: What Are Friends For?
reviewed by mnjones on 08/11/2010
Other Reviews by mnjones 381
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A review of Saladin Hazeby mnjones on 12/03/2010Strong, gripping, and well-written account of a man at war, a civil war in which he has begun to suspect he may be on the wrong side. I am still puzzled by the disembodied voice that seemed to surround Haze and his men at the roadblock; but the ending is well done, with Haze, who sacrifices his sister so that he can, in her memory and the memory of Anne Frank, "find them"... read
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