Review of: Colter 

reviewed by stevles on 02/25/2012
Credited Review
stevles
WHEN MEN WERE MEN Credited Review
While a too overly simplistic writing style and occasional miss-spellings tweaked my sensibilities, as bios go, this was a nice piece of work. Good guys, bad guys, exciting conflicts, heroic resolutions... Colter really does have it all -- well, almost all. As it stands right now, it's more a series of incidents (episodic) than a single story. Yes, Colter's quest is to find his friend, Potts, but that in itself is not pressing enough to carry us through from beginning to end. Besides, Potts goes on to get killed, leaving Colter, in the end, to run for his own life. I am sure with some tweaking, a more solid story can be constructed, one that could easily include all the fine elements already present in this historic true-life tale. Concept, characters, structure, and especially story, are first rate.

Going over my notes, I am reminded of some problematic dialogue sprinkled throughout the story. The scene in the saloon, for example, comes off as a tad cliched, it's drunken characters too broad to be believed or taken seriously. Captain Thorn, with a stock Captain Bligh "attitude" is another character in need of a freshening.

Overall, a job well done. And, good luck with any revisions you might care to make.

Other Reviews by stevles 122

  • A review of The Carrier (rev.)
    by stevles on 10/15/2012
    The Carrier is a fast-paced, action-laced buddy/buddies movie, only, this time only one buddy out of four remains standing. It's Riley-Taker Vs. Richter-Keller, with only Richter left standing. There are a few other characters who manage to make it to the end credits alive, but you kind of get the feeling that somewhere down the line awaits their comeuppance. While the story... read
  • A review of The PRODIGAL
    by stevles on 08/16/2011
    While the Prodigal was an entertaining read, it was, to say the least, fraught with problems. Too many, I mean, too many typo and technical errors intrude on, what should have been, a smooth read. Ketel One spelled Kettel One; Characters go uncapped; Sonny capped SSONY in one place, SON in another and SONNY SONNY (pg. 57) in a third. Edna let's go of an arm instead of... read
  • A review of American Independent
    by stevles on 03/09/2011
    First, let me congratulate the writer for an extremely entertaining two hour read. The topic, for this site at least, was refreshing, original and thought-provoking. Having said all that, I must confess that if I were judging this (reader) for a studio, I would have to pass on it for the following reasons: Too preachy - Santa Fox, the radio DJ is too much the mouthpiece... read
+ more reviews