While a too overly simplistic writing style and occasional miss-spellings tweaked my sensibilities, as bios go, this was a nice piece of work. Good guys, bad guys, exciting conflicts, heroic resolutions... Colter really does have it all -- well, almost all. As it stands right now, it's more a series of incidents (episodic) than a single story. Yes, Colter's quest is to find his friend, Potts, but that in itself is not pressing enough to carry us through from beginning to end. Besides, Potts goes on to get killed, leaving Colter, in the end, to run for his own life. I am sure with some tweaking, a more solid story can be constructed, one that could easily include all the fine elements already present in this historic true-life tale. Concept, characters, structure, and especially story, are first rate.
Going over my notes, I am reminded of some problematic dialogue sprinkled throughout the story. The scene in the saloon, for example, comes off as a tad cliched, it's drunken characters too broad to be believed or taken seriously. Captain Thorn, with a stock Captain Bligh "attitude" is another character in need of a freshening.
Overall, a job well done. And, good luck with any revisions you might care to make.
Review of: Colter
reviewed by stevles on 02/25/2012
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