Boy! This is one of those stories that you try so hard to hate, but something inside you, something dark and beyond your control, just won't let you. Fiction is only a mere reflection of truth, eh?
You certainly know how to ilicite an emotional response, for good or ill, yet I find myself highly appreciative of the straight up balls it must have taken to write something this dark. This story is as provocative as it is excruciating. In that this response was, I think, your intention, kudos to you.
Technically, watch out for fluctuating tenses. You tended to vascilate back and forth between past and present incorrectly. Also, there doesn't seem to be any standardized structure to the writing, except for what you seem to have invented. Even still, though, this one is an easy story to read (technically, of course - not thematically) and moved along at a rapid clip. I'm glad I read this one, though I wish I hadn't. Thanks for offering me today's moment of perfect dichotomy. Fun stuff.
Review of: The demon and I
reviewed by nick74 on 06/08/2011
Other Reviews by nick74 327
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A review of Starry Nightby nick74 on 12/13/2012The theme of life beyond the grave returning in dream to throw hints and clues at the living about a future murder is enticing. It’s a bit dark and creepy, and plays out well on an audience’s imagination, enough so to plot a movie around. Underneath all that is another theme that I particularly liked about the shameful underprivileged struggling to rise through scurrilous means... read
A review of No Not Niceby nick74 on 11/27/2012Hey John, it's a pleasure to read another one of your stories. This one tells a tale of bullying and punkish behavior back in the pre-cyber bullying era when punks were face-to-fist types and the grit of youth was a far more direct thing. And it does it well, but I have to admit I was left scratching my head the tinniest bit after this one. But there are a few things I can... read