Boy! This is one of those stories that you try so hard to hate, but something inside you, something dark and beyond your control, just won't let you. Fiction is only a mere reflection of truth, eh?
You certainly know how to ilicite an emotional response, for good or ill, yet I find myself highly appreciative of the straight up balls it must have taken to write something this dark. This story is as provocative as it is excruciating. In that this response was, I think, your intention, kudos to you.
Technically, watch out for fluctuating tenses. You tended to vascilate back and forth between past and present incorrectly. Also, there doesn't seem to be any standardized structure to the writing, except for what you seem to have invented. Even still, though, this one is an easy story to read (technically, of course - not thematically) and moved along at a rapid clip. I'm glad I read this one, though I wish I hadn't. Thanks for offering me today's moment of perfect dichotomy. Fun stuff.
Review of: The demon and I
reviewed by nick74 on 06/08/2011
Other Reviews by nick74 336
A review of Parallel Misdirectionby nick74 on 12/25/2013I haven't done a Free Will review on a short film in -- jeez -- over a year, but I find a young filmmaker auteur such as yourself and I just couldn't resist, even on Christmas. In my unprofessional, layman's opinion, I see a lot of creative processes going on in this film. The stylistic use of a goolge map, the video game motif, the film's editing — it was all spot on. I... read
A review of Forget The Lion And The Witchby nick74 on 09/09/2013This tiny piece of writing with a large heart reminds me of the story about the drowning man who prayed to God to save him only to deny the man in a boat who happened along offering assistance for it was so that God would answer his prayers. THen, when another man in a raft happened along offering assistance, the drowning man said, "No, the lord will save me." Exhausted, the... read
A review of The Antique Fairby nick74 on 09/08/2013Awesome story! I know this piece is ranked well, but it's surprising that in the category of 'Story' it's only given an 'Average' ranking. Come on TS peeps, this story is so subtle, hidden, surprising, and cleverly crafted it should be ranked as Excellent. Okay, it's short and very simple, but it's perfectly so. Hello again, Peter. In the Flyover, I was critical that the mood... read