Review of: Panama
reviewed by shmee on 01/25/2008
Where's the story?
There doesn't seem to be much here. You have a cast of weirdoes but no real plot. Something needs to be driving the action. The script is supposed to grab you in the first ten pages and it definitely did not. It was a chore just to keep reading. The characters are all cliché. The dialogue is poor (the children don't sound like children). But most importantly there just wasn't anything interesting going on. You also shouldn't have things in the script like "this makes us as uncomfortable as LUKE", "we can tell he's been waiting a long time to dish out this speech", "we feel his pain", "For some reason we are convinced that LUKE WILSON left his mark". If the dialogue and action is well written we should feel or think what you want, but don't tell us how we are supposed to take it. Also try not to put in direction especially suggestions like "This scene would be much more effective if slowed down (SLOW MOTION) for dramatic effect." Try to come up with a compelling story that you can set in your school on your teacher's first day. Even silly comedies have at least a weak plot.
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