Review of: Bathtime 

reviewed by ravensdragonfly on 10/22/2009
Credited Review
ravensdragonfly
WoW. Credited Review
I was prepared to take notes while I read this story so that I could give a good review but I got so engrossed in the story I couldn't stop reading, if even for a second, in order to take notes!
My last thought was WoW!
What a good story and to come at it from the murderers point of view was a great idea!
A few suggestions that come to mind:
get rid of:
"I won’t bore you with every detail of the cleaning, that would just be too
boring, unless of course you’re into that kind of thing?
No?
Well we’ll jump to the juicy part."
I felt it detracted from the story.
On page 4 I was wondering what it was that he wanted her to find?
On page 13 you wrote "someone like me could never have." and I was wondering why he felt that way about himself?
Other than these few questions I truely enjoyed this story. You are a remarkable writer and you most certainly have a gift for the macabre.
I hope to read more of your stories in the future.

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