a short story
by nanpinc
Before the 'Night of the Chupacabra', there was the hunt.
nanpinc
member since 07/09/2011 |
last login 06/21/2012
In addition to writing fiction, Michael also runs a blog, "My Little Obsessions" where he likes to muse about what distractions life has to offer. Michael, a life-long Southern California resident, is a former international publicist for feature films and screenwriter....
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Bio
In addition to writing fiction, Michael also runs a blog, "My Little Obsessions" where he likes to muse about what distractions life has to offer. Michael, a life-long Southern California resident, is a former international publicist for feature films and screenwriter.
Submissions by nanpinc
Reviews by nanpinc 9
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A review of Dr. Towers' Babel (rev)by nanpinc on 08/11/2011The passion this author has on this subject matter is evident. The story and detailed differences between science and faith are very well executed and well thought out, as if this author personally struggles with this highly complex concept to a point that he personally had to put this story down on paper in order to organize his thoughts on this matter, but then finding an... The passion this author has on this subject matter is evident. The story and detailed differences between science and faith are very well executed and well thought out, as if this author personally struggles with this highly complex concept to a point that he personally had to put this story down on paper in order to organize his thoughts on this matter, but then finding an entertaining format to share his ideas like he would as if starting a conversation at a party. It also appears that this author has called forth the spirit of Michael Crichton, as he so successfully defined the fine line between science and fiction without the story reading like a science-fiction piece.
Although this reader did enjoy this piece very much, the story did not hook him until Dr. Towers' explanation of the expanding universe, which was brilliantly written and the high-light of the story in this reader's opinion. This may be, in part, because of a few errors and confusing sentence structures that this reader only found within the first eight pages, which leads this reader to believe that these are signs the author did not care as much for these pages as he did beyond the inciting incident, and it shows. Some examples of the problems found in these pages would be at least five typo errors and a portion of a sentence on page 6 "but I got passed Jesse." and "There was a past hurt, suddenly" on page 7. These are only two examples of sentences that could be better constructed because they throw off the flow of the story. However, beyond page eight, the story becomes effortless to read and if there were additional errors, this reader passed right over them.
But overall, the poor sentence structures were minute, and this reader would like to point out a very well thought out line that was captivating and thought provoking on page 11, "Jesse would say he was just like me." Very insightful and really demonstrates why Jesse's character, although brief, is an important character to this story and not just there to have her boyfriend question his beliefs. There is also some very good humor in this story, which was placed perfectly in the right moments.
One other comment this reader would like to point out is when we are in the silo going back through time, we hear Dr. Tower speak his words backwards; however, the words themselves are not backwards. Wouldn't the letters that make up the words be backwards as well? We wouldn't hear the words being said correctly in backwards order. EVERYTHING would be backwards.
Overall, with some minor technical details and struggles to get the story going, Dr. Towers' Babel is an exciting, thought-provoking story which takes the reader on just one, of what could be many, paths to find answers to age-old questions about God and evolution, and is the perfect mixture of Crichton-esque story and science. Well done! read -
A review of Harmony (rev)by nanpinc on 07/26/2011This reader finds nothing more haunting than horror fiction that could so easily be non-fiction, and 'Harmony' will surely haunt me for days. The prose is very clean and descriptive, leaving the reader with a clear picture of the evil and violence in our world today. This writer also takes the reader on a journey filled with love, faith, horror, debate and laughter; all emotions... This reader finds nothing more haunting than horror fiction that could so easily be non-fiction, and 'Harmony' will surely haunt me for days. The prose is very clean and descriptive, leaving the reader with a clear picture of the evil and violence in our world today. This writer also takes the reader on a journey filled with love, faith, horror, debate and laughter; all emotions tightly strung together to create and an effective story. This reader would also like to point out one particular line of description that is an example of this writer's talents, "No one was more sane than Satan himself." Simple, descriptive, precise. Another stellar moment this reader would like to point out is Ed Grossman's speech inside the hummer, which was not overly opinionated or preachy, just a well-defined monologue.
Being such a tightly written story, there is very little to comment on and these next suggestions are only the opinions of this reader: 1) Be careful with the predictability of this piece. Although this reader could not predict how it would end, he was able to predict the story that led to the ending. One suggestion would be just to avoid David's discussing the junket to his wife. It read like a set up. 2) Although the conversation between David and the terrorist at the end is very essential, this reader believes there needs to be a stronger catalyst for the debate to even occur. With a firefight directly overhead and the pressure to rush through the terrorist process, there is some disbelief that the lead terrorist would take the time to stop and discuss their sides at length. Of course, one suggestion would be to have the terrorists escape and not have the ticking clock of the firefight present. 3) Whether is was because this reader was captivated through the entire story and missed any others, there was one misspelling caught on Page 1 - "quiet" should be "quite".
In conclusion, 'Harmony' captures the horrific imagination within a "what if" scenario of what it would be like to be a hostage and the choices we could make if we did not allow fear to control us. An excellent point to apply in every day life. read -
A review of Necro Philby nanpinc on 07/23/2011Wow! This reader saw the "graphic content" warning, but still... Wow! And that's what this reader liked most about Necro Phil. This writer is at their strongest when describing the horror and brutality that just flies off the page. There is a real vision and emotion in the prose that seems to effortlessly come out and grab the reader's attention and take them on a shocking... Wow! This reader saw the "graphic content" warning, but still... Wow! And that's what this reader liked most about Necro Phil.
This writer is at their strongest when describing the horror and brutality that just flies off the page. There is a real vision and emotion in the prose that seems to effortlessly come out and grab the reader's attention and take them on a shocking journey that can only end badly for all involved.
However, this reader also needs to comment on what he felt did not work in the piece. In largest part, this reader could not sympathize with Phil, which has nothing to do with his violence, but the innocent victims he chose to do unspeakable horrors to. Although, the writer made it clear why Phil did choose to do these things to his friend's loved ones, this reader does not feel a car accident, which happens to hundreds of people every day, is the strongest choice to bring the emotion that is trying to be conveyed. Additionally, the foundation for Phil's murderous tendencies, by watching a girl die in an accident as a young boy, also felt weak as this reader could not grasp Phil's underlying violence from the result of an "accident". If Phil had witnessed the girl brutally murdered as a young boy, it might make a little more sense.
Secondary to the previous comment, this reader asked himself why Phil did not just go after the friends, why even he bother with their loved ones when his mind was at such a level of insanity. A deeper explanation of why he would rather hurt his friends than kill them is needed. As it stands now, this reader could not connect with Phil's reasoning and isn't sure his madness would be at a "reasoning" state anyway. However, this reader is not suggesting changing the idea of going after the loved ones, as it is the story, but is simply suggesting a more solid approach for this story. An example being that his friend's are untouchable, for one reason or another, so the only way he could exact his revenge is by doing what he does so well to their loved ones.
Finally, this reader was distracted by the bit about Coral being quite the flussy when alive. As it stands now, it reads like an attempt for more drama. If the writer feels it is imparative to the story, it is suggested that it be flushed out more. Perhaps have Phil even question it himself as he's yelling at the child.
Of course, this is all in the opinion of this reader who, overall, thinks there is a gruesome, fun story that just needs a lot of tightening. Great start! read
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Submissions by nanpinc
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a short story by nanpincBefore the 'Night of the Chupacabra', there was the hunt.
Reviews by nanpinc 9
-
A review of Dr. Towers' Babel (rev)by nanpinc on 08/11/2011The passion this author has on this subject matter is evident. The story and detailed differences between science and faith are very well executed and well thought out, as if this author personally struggles with this highly complex concept to a point that he personally had to put this story down on paper in order to organize his thoughts on this matter, but then finding an... The passion this author has on this subject matter is evident. The story and detailed differences between science and faith are very well executed and well thought out, as if this author personally struggles with this highly complex concept to a point that he personally had to put this story down on paper in order to organize his thoughts on this matter, but then finding an entertaining format to share his ideas like he would as if starting a conversation at a party. It also appears that this author has called forth the spirit of Michael Crichton, as he so successfully defined the fine line between science and fiction without the story reading like a science-fiction piece.
Although this reader did enjoy this piece very much, the story did not hook him until Dr. Towers' explanation of the expanding universe, which was brilliantly written and the high-light of the story in this reader's opinion. This may be, in part, because of a few errors and confusing sentence structures that this reader only found within the first eight pages, which leads this reader to believe that these are signs the author did not care as much for these pages as he did beyond the inciting incident, and it shows. Some examples of the problems found in these pages would be at least five typo errors and a portion of a sentence on page 6 "but I got passed Jesse." and "There was a past hurt, suddenly" on page 7. These are only two examples of sentences that could be better constructed because they throw off the flow of the story. However, beyond page eight, the story becomes effortless to read and if there were additional errors, this reader passed right over them.
But overall, the poor sentence structures were minute, and this reader would like to point out a very well thought out line that was captivating and thought provoking on page 11, "Jesse would say he was just like me." Very insightful and really demonstrates why Jesse's character, although brief, is an important character to this story and not just there to have her boyfriend question his beliefs. There is also some very good humor in this story, which was placed perfectly in the right moments.
One other comment this reader would like to point out is when we are in the silo going back through time, we hear Dr. Tower speak his words backwards; however, the words themselves are not backwards. Wouldn't the letters that make up the words be backwards as well? We wouldn't hear the words being said correctly in backwards order. EVERYTHING would be backwards.
Overall, with some minor technical details and struggles to get the story going, Dr. Towers' Babel is an exciting, thought-provoking story which takes the reader on just one, of what could be many, paths to find answers to age-old questions about God and evolution, and is the perfect mixture of Crichton-esque story and science. Well done! read -
A review of Harmony (rev)by nanpinc on 07/26/2011This reader finds nothing more haunting than horror fiction that could so easily be non-fiction, and 'Harmony' will surely haunt me for days. The prose is very clean and descriptive, leaving the reader with a clear picture of the evil and violence in our world today. This writer also takes the reader on a journey filled with love, faith, horror, debate and laughter; all emotions... This reader finds nothing more haunting than horror fiction that could so easily be non-fiction, and 'Harmony' will surely haunt me for days. The prose is very clean and descriptive, leaving the reader with a clear picture of the evil and violence in our world today. This writer also takes the reader on a journey filled with love, faith, horror, debate and laughter; all emotions tightly strung together to create and an effective story. This reader would also like to point out one particular line of description that is an example of this writer's talents, "No one was more sane than Satan himself." Simple, descriptive, precise. Another stellar moment this reader would like to point out is Ed Grossman's speech inside the hummer, which was not overly opinionated or preachy, just a well-defined monologue.
Being such a tightly written story, there is very little to comment on and these next suggestions are only the opinions of this reader: 1) Be careful with the predictability of this piece. Although this reader could not predict how it would end, he was able to predict the story that led to the ending. One suggestion would be just to avoid David's discussing the junket to his wife. It read like a set up. 2) Although the conversation between David and the terrorist at the end is very essential, this reader believes there needs to be a stronger catalyst for the debate to even occur. With a firefight directly overhead and the pressure to rush through the terrorist process, there is some disbelief that the lead terrorist would take the time to stop and discuss their sides at length. Of course, one suggestion would be to have the terrorists escape and not have the ticking clock of the firefight present. 3) Whether is was because this reader was captivated through the entire story and missed any others, there was one misspelling caught on Page 1 - "quiet" should be "quite".
In conclusion, 'Harmony' captures the horrific imagination within a "what if" scenario of what it would be like to be a hostage and the choices we could make if we did not allow fear to control us. An excellent point to apply in every day life. read -
A review of Necro Philby nanpinc on 07/23/2011Wow! This reader saw the "graphic content" warning, but still... Wow! And that's what this reader liked most about Necro Phil. This writer is at their strongest when describing the horror and brutality that just flies off the page. There is a real vision and emotion in the prose that seems to effortlessly come out and grab the reader's attention and take them on a shocking... Wow! This reader saw the "graphic content" warning, but still... Wow! And that's what this reader liked most about Necro Phil.
This writer is at their strongest when describing the horror and brutality that just flies off the page. There is a real vision and emotion in the prose that seems to effortlessly come out and grab the reader's attention and take them on a shocking journey that can only end badly for all involved.
However, this reader also needs to comment on what he felt did not work in the piece. In largest part, this reader could not sympathize with Phil, which has nothing to do with his violence, but the innocent victims he chose to do unspeakable horrors to. Although, the writer made it clear why Phil did choose to do these things to his friend's loved ones, this reader does not feel a car accident, which happens to hundreds of people every day, is the strongest choice to bring the emotion that is trying to be conveyed. Additionally, the foundation for Phil's murderous tendencies, by watching a girl die in an accident as a young boy, also felt weak as this reader could not grasp Phil's underlying violence from the result of an "accident". If Phil had witnessed the girl brutally murdered as a young boy, it might make a little more sense.
Secondary to the previous comment, this reader asked himself why Phil did not just go after the friends, why even he bother with their loved ones when his mind was at such a level of insanity. A deeper explanation of why he would rather hurt his friends than kill them is needed. As it stands now, this reader could not connect with Phil's reasoning and isn't sure his madness would be at a "reasoning" state anyway. However, this reader is not suggesting changing the idea of going after the loved ones, as it is the story, but is simply suggesting a more solid approach for this story. An example being that his friend's are untouchable, for one reason or another, so the only way he could exact his revenge is by doing what he does so well to their loved ones.
Finally, this reader was distracted by the bit about Coral being quite the flussy when alive. As it stands now, it reads like an attempt for more drama. If the writer feels it is imparative to the story, it is suggested that it be flushed out more. Perhaps have Phil even question it himself as he's yelling at the child.
Of course, this is all in the opinion of this reader who, overall, thinks there is a gruesome, fun story that just needs a lot of tightening. Great start! read -
A review of Grey Bargainsby nanpinc on 07/20/2011As this posting of 'Grey Bargains' is technically not a short story, but the first three chapters of a novel or novella, it is difficult to review without having a beginning, a middle and an end. However, this reader will do his best. Personally, this reader is not a fan of "fairy" realm type stories, but having said that, this reader found these three chapters enjoyable overall... As this posting of 'Grey Bargains' is technically not a short story, but the first three chapters of a novel or novella, it is difficult to review without having a beginning, a middle and an end. However, this reader will do his best.
Personally, this reader is not a fan of "fairy" realm type stories, but having said that, this reader found these three chapters enjoyable overall. Most of the time, the author has a good sense of description and keeps the prose fresh and interesting; however, there are times when the author may lose his reader's attention by over describing and slowing down the story's pace. Just one very simple example of this would be the description of the pick-up truck. It could possibly be important later in the story, but as these three chapters stand alone, it is not needed. There are more incidents similar to this that this reader would suggest for the author to go back and reanalyze.
Another comment this reader would give is to be careful of typos and grammatical mistakes. Regarding typo's, this reader counted no less than five, and just one example of grammar would be on page 28, "but the real excitement of a true adventure was lost since that night at the party. For the first time that night Tiffany looked upset." The author confuses the reader by referring to "that night" both in the past and in the present.
Again, overall an interesting story. This reader appreciates the light-hearted "dark" elements and the subtle humor, which are very nice touches and kept the attention of someone who otherwise does not read these types of stories. Good luck with the larger project! read -
A review of The Vegetarianby nanpinc on 07/14/2011This reader found The Vegetarian, mostly a confusing tale about a desert wanderer who is falling apart. The first point this reader would like to make is how misleading the story's description is to the actual short story. "An experiment gone wrong", which, upon reading the story, the reader would have never guessed that William was an experiment if not had been told so in... This reader found The Vegetarian, mostly a confusing tale about a desert wanderer who is falling apart.
The first point this reader would like to make is how misleading the story's description is to the actual short story. "An experiment gone wrong", which, upon reading the story, the reader would have never guessed that William was an experiment if not had been told so in the description. Also, "having nothing to feed on... but himself." I'm not entirely sure where the author is coming from with this statement as (with the exception of a piece of flaked skin) William does not feed on himself. If the author is proposing internal consumption, since William seems to be half man, half plant, then description should be included in the prose.
On the subject of description, this reader often thought that sentences were confusing and that some words could have been better chosen to get a point across. Additionally, some of the paragraphing and spacing were off, and this reader counted no less than five typo's.
On a positive note, this reader was with William every step of the way and sympathized with the character when need be, cringing at some of the more poignant graphic detail.
All in all, with some more work, this story could go a long way. read -
A review of The Princess Annieby nanpinc on 07/13/2011'The Princess Annie' is a love story filled with tormented anguish that delivers a happy ending without the struggle to make this reader feel like the couple's journey was worthwhile. This reader does not have much to say regarding plot as there was not a lot of plot to detail, which is not necessarily a negative comment. Once again, this author does a fantastic job with... 'The Princess Annie' is a love story filled with tormented anguish that delivers a happy ending without the struggle to make this reader feel like the couple's journey was worthwhile.
This reader does not have much to say regarding plot as there was not a lot of plot to detail, which is not necessarily a negative comment. Once again, this author does a fantastic job with quick. precise descriptions that captures the heart and mind of the male tormented lover, Zeke, who is too proper for his own good. However, where the story falls short is the non-existent external conflict which Zeke must overcome to secure Annie's love, the love of his life. Rather than work for Annie's hand, Zeke is simply handed a second chance by fate (the death of Jeremy) and must simply change his mind. This author does capture both Zeke and Annie's internal struggle very well, but this reader does not feel that that is enough to make this a compelling story, and in fact, weakens what could have been a very heartfelt ending.
On another note, this reader does not normaly suggest altering any prose or dialogue; however, I do wish to break my own rule this one time as there is one sentence that stops this author's excellent prose dead in its tracks, "raw as a chicken caught by a coyote." It is suggested that this author re-review this description as this reader found it ill-timed and somewhat comical in a very sincere and important moment in the story, which pulled this reader out of the emotional journey.
Overall, this reader is still a fan of this author's work; however, The Princess Annie is his least favorite piece thus far. read -
A review of Invisible Woundsby nanpinc on 07/12/2011"Invisible Wounds" is a simple in structure, yet complicated in dimension short story that is beautifully written. I must say that the author has a fantastic grasp of words and constructing brief thoughts that make it easy and enjoyable for the reader to follow. The pacing of the story is flawless and the author's ability to take the reader on a journey using so little, yet... "Invisible Wounds" is a simple in structure, yet complicated in dimension short story that is beautifully written.
I must say that the author has a fantastic grasp of words and constructing brief thoughts that make it easy and enjoyable for the reader to follow. The pacing of the story is flawless and the author's ability to take the reader on a journey using so little, yet precise wording is inspiring. However, I must add that the author may benefit from using a semi-colon or comma on occasion instead of a new, fragmented sentence. There are stories that would warrant this rule breaking, but I believe that this story is not one of them.
Another compliment I would like to give this author is the accomplishment to make (at least this reader) empathize with both sides. Despite Pete's deceitfulness and deception, I understood the great loss that he has yet to overcome and pity him for it, which makes it all that much more painful to this reader when he chooses to do what I hoped he would not.
The only suggestion this reader has to the author has to do with the ending. Although I like the flash-forward to the cemetery, the grieving (because I wanted to grieve with them) and the brief epilogue about the hell of war, especially our Civil War, the Union soldier's presence as a ghost gives the story a "supernatural" feel that comes out of left field. This reader believes it is an unwarranted element to this story and is not needed. Additionally, the author credits that this is a "true story" (which I could believe); however, this part of the story cannot be proved and the author even has the ghost of the soldier discredit any chance of this being a true story by stating, "If they knew the truth, that he had been tricked, then murdered, by a grief-stricken, half-crazed old man, they would be heartily disappointed." This signifies how the soldier's true story never got out.
Aside from that, I enjoyed this story immensely and look forward to other works by this author. read -
A review of Ally and the Dearly Deadby nanpinc on 07/11/2011Please know that I take no pleasure in negative feedback because I understand the time, dedication and commitment it takes to write anything, but I must also be honest with myself and the expression of my thoughts. So, with that disclaimer out of the way, I hope I am able to get across this constructive feedback... I could not find anything original or provoking enough with... Please know that I take no pleasure in negative feedback because I understand the time, dedication and commitment it takes to write anything, but I must also be honest with myself and the expression of my thoughts. So, with that disclaimer out of the way, I hope I am able to get across this constructive feedback...
I could not find anything original or provoking enough with "Ally and the Dearly Dead" to warrant the author's choice to write the piece. True, there is the twist of "God's breath of life", but I think the author only touched on something that could be greater and make it something more than just a story about "the chosen one", which we've read multiple times and seen in multiple movies.
The author accurately labeled this story with multiple genres, except for one... comedy. Although there is a light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek flair in the story, I believe this genre to be misleading, and the reason why I even mention this to the author is because it builds up a pre-conceived notion in the reader's mind, only to be let down when as the reader feels deceived. I realize that everybody has a different type of sense of humor, I could not even tell if the author was trying to be funny.
My biggest note for the author would be about pace. I believe the structure of the sentences could be more efficient and there could be a better string of thought. There is some "jumbled-ness" to the prose, which slows the pacing of the read. Another point is that there are many incidents (especially during a scene with action) where the author chooses to insert colorful adjectives that interrupt what should flow quickly. Lastly on this point, at times there is too much description and the author drags the momentum of the story. Condensed thoughts that get to the next point quicker would be advised.
A couple of technical points I'd like to also point out would be to not use the same similes and metaphors more than once. Although there were some very clever metaphors that I did enjoy, I counted the similie "taco meat" three times. The first use was excellent, the other two were distractions. I also counted no less than 8 typo and grammatical errors, which posed as another distraction. Finally, when you refer to the "group leader" or "Group leader", because this is the only name we know, he should be written as "Group Leader" with both first letters capitalized.
Then there were a few plot points that did not make sense. The one I had the biggest time with was why Benny could control his zombie aggression towards Ally, but not her own mother and father. To me, this says that her own mother and father did not love her as much as her boyfriend, which I find hard to believe. Second, I notice that the author has no problem writing profanity when warranted; however, Ally never curses and there are moments (like being swarmed by zombies) when she would definitely not be censoring herself no matter how good a girl she is. Lastly, I had a hard time believing that Ally can be an ass-kicking, zombie-killing, one man soldier, even with the weapons she had at her disposal, when more trained and efficient men are taken out so easily.
Overall, I believe if the author is passionate about this story, it would be beneficial to revisit it from a new perspective and dig out the "taco meat" that's inside, of course, this is only one person's opinion and I hope I did not offend the author in any way. read -
A review of The Lamentby nanpinc on 07/10/2011'The Lament' is a very rich short story about repressed rage and revenge. I must admit that at first, I was not enjoying the story; however, once I knew what journey the author was taking me on, upon reading the 'playground' scene, I immediately found myself enjoying the story a lot more. I would advise the author to be careful of this because should anybody feel the same,... 'The Lament' is a very rich short story about repressed rage and revenge. I must admit that at first, I was not enjoying the story; however, once I knew what journey the author was taking me on, upon reading the 'playground' scene, I immediately found myself enjoying the story a lot more. I would advise the author to be careful of this because should anybody feel the same, they may not continue on with the story, and that would be a shame. I think a part of the problem with the beginning is that the description is very external and there is nothing the author gives us to sympathize with Nathan. I agree the harshness of bullying can be relatable to most readers, but without delving into the lead character's emotions; it makes it difficult to feel for him within the first few pages. Perhaps just a few added lines of his internal feelings would help with this.
Outside of the beginning, the pacing of the story flows very nicely. The author uses short and simple sentences effectively and has a nice grasp of suspense; however, I did count no less than five errors, so I would advice the author to be more thorough in proofing his work before submitting. Errors can be very distracting and pull the reader out of the story.
Overall, I enjoyed 'The Lament' very much and would definitely recommend it. Good job. read
Comments About nanpinc 13
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nanpinc on 08/16/2011
nick74 wrote:Hey Nanpinc, check it out. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.
http://tv.yahoo.com/daytime/video/chupacabra-captured/26090386/
Hey Nick,
Now that's what I call free publicity! LOL! Thank you for sending the video my way. Very cool of you. And congrats on Dr. Towers' Babel. Very well written and I was thrilled to read a story which I could relate to at its core. I hope you go far with that one buddy.
Best,
Michael -
nick74 on 08/16/2011
Hey Nanpinc, check it out. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.
http://tv.yahoo.com/daytime/video/chupacabra-captured/26090386/ -
nick74 on 08/16/2011
Nanpinc
We meet again. I always look forward to your reviews. Thank you much for taking the time to read and then comment on Dr. Towers' Babel. If every story has a story, then this one might be the one I'm most proud of. It's my idea of blending Carl Sagan with Sam Keen (a philanthropic theologian whose views of the universe are quite opposite that of Sagan's) so to be mentioned in the same breath with Michael Crichton is one heck of a compliment. Thanks!
Nick -
nanpinc on 07/27/2011
LOL! The guillotine is at the shop getting a sharpening.
Good job, sir!
nick74 wrote:Nanpinc
What, no guillotine this time? :) Thanks for your review of Harmony. Once again, you have a lot to say in a review, all of it constructive and helpful. 'Preciate the time, nanpinc.
Nick -
nick74 on 07/27/2011
Nanpinc
What, no guillotine this time? :) Thanks for your review of Harmony. Once again, you have a lot to say in a review, all of it constructive and helpful. 'Preciate the time, nanpinc.
Nick -
MaxWatt on 07/24/2011
Thanks for the review! You gave me pleny to think about. Thanks for your time and effort. -
halljamel250 on 07/20/2011
Yes I am looking for a book editor -
nanpinc on 07/13/2011
eiltory wrote:Hi, and I want to thank you for a well-thought out review of WOUNDS. Your insight is really important to me, and I am considering it carefully as I rework the tale. However, this story was not BASED on true events but INSPIRED by the discovery of the bones in Franklin two years ago, so of course the ghost is not real! If memory serves me, the local stations in Nashville reported that city workers found him while working on the sewer system. It was big news here, and I think CNN even picked it up. Anyway, your time and effort are truly appreciated. My goal is to learn and learn some more on TS. Thank you for that. EH
My pleasure, and "thank you" because 'Invisible Wounds' is truly one of the best independent short stories I've read in a while, I even shared it with a friend of mine, as we both have a fascination with Civil War stories, which I've never done.
On a side note, after reviewing both Invisible Wounds (and now The Princess Annie), I notice some reviewers commenting on your descriptions, which I personally feel is a shame because your prose paints a picture without dragging and I love that. Every reader is different, but I hope you find what you need in each review to make yourself an even a better writer and disregard the rest (my comments included) because obviously, I don't agree with them on that point. -
eiltory on 07/13/2011
Hi, and I want to thank you for a well-thought out review of WOUNDS. Your insight is really important to me, and I am considering it carefully as I rework the tale. However, this story was not BASED on true events but INSPIRED by the discovery of the bones in Franklin two years ago, so of course the ghost is not real! If memory serves me, the local stations in Nashville reported that city workers found him while working on the sewer system. It was big news here, and I think CNN even picked it up. Anyway, your time and effort are truly appreciated. My goal is to learn and learn some more on TS. Thank you for that. EH -
nanpinc on 07/11/2011
nick74 wrote:nanpinc
I'd rather read a lengthy review, such as yours, full of criticism than one that captures the 75 word minimum regardless of its nature. No offense taken; you make many a good point to which I cannot debate. Excellent review!
I have only to thank you for your time, and I would like more of your input on any other story of mine to which you might be assigned in the future. I humbly look forward to that guillotine, my friend. Seeee-lice! : )
Nick
LOL! Well, I would say "my pleasure", but like I stated, I take no pleasure in negative comments no matter how constructive, as I've been on the receiving end many a time, but at the same time, I feel like I've grown from them too.
I am pleased that my points came across, and if I come across any of your other works, I solemnly swear to whip out my magnifying glass and red pen. ;)
Michael
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Comments About nanpinc 13
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nick74 wrote:
Hey Nanpinc, check it out. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.
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Hey Nanpinc, check it out. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.
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Nanpinc
+ more commentsnanpinc on 08/16/2011
http://tv.yahoo.com/daytime/video/chupacabra-captured/26090386/
Hey Nick,
Now that's what I call free publicity! LOL! Thank you for sending the video my way. Very cool of you. And congrats on Dr. Towers' Babel. Very well written and I was thrilled to read a story which I could relate to at its core. I hope you go far with that one buddy.
Best,
Michael
nick74 on 08/16/2011
http://tv.yahoo.com/daytime/video/chupacabra-captured/26090386/
nick74 on 08/16/2011
We meet again. I always look forward to your reviews. Thank you much for taking the time to read and then comment on Dr. Towers' Babel. If every story has a story, then this one might be the one I'm most proud of. It's my idea of blending Carl Sagan with Sam Keen (a philanthropic theologian whose views of the universe are quite opposite that of Sagan's) so to be mentioned in the same breath with Michael Crichton is one heck of a compliment. Thanks!
Nick