Parthenis 

member since 02/22/2003 | last login 10/30/2014

I write reports all day at work. In between, I dream up movies in my head....

Bio

I write reports all day at work. In between, I dream up movies in my head.

Submissions by Parthenis

Reviews by Parthenis 63

  • A review of Origami Rain
    by Parthenis on 05/06/2013
    Origami Rain slides all over the place more than Alex's mustang on an icy road. The story is dis-jointed and doesn't develop. The beginning is good. The tension builds with the introduction of the main characters, their lives and activities. I'm interested so far. Then Jayden snaps Scarlett's neck. The boys take her to the hospital and there is confusion on the way about which... read
  • A review of The Enemy
    by Parthenis on 04/12/2013
    THE ENEMY takes the reader on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I think the character arc of Eli and Charlie is brilliant. First we hate Eli. He's a hound dog who deserves to be castrated. But then, he tries to turn his life around and we are rooting for him. Charlie is a sweet and likeable lady until she turns on Eli. We don't know why she treats him (and men) the way she... read
  • A review of The Holstein Epiphany
    by Parthenis on 03/11/2013
    This is a well written screenplay and a story that is bigger than 101 pages. I believe the story needs more development. At 101 pages you have room to expand the police investigation and eventual capture of Baylor. There is the love angle with Baylor and Kimberley which is very touching. I like the way Baylor develops as a serial killer (for the good of mankind). He kills the... read
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Comments About Parthenis 30

  • anthorasanli on 05/07/2013

    Thanks for your review of Origami Rain, your points are valid and appreciated. Just so you know, it was not actually Phil's dream, some people think this, but some people got it, he is in another dimension. Reality changed, his reality anyway, that's why the mustang is no longer there. It's more of a surreal movie with slow long pauses, kinda Tree of Life like as opposed to Law Abiding Citizen. Thanks for taking the time to read it and review, all the best!
  • johnnyb2124 on 05/03/2013

    Hey, I accidently deleted your email after I read it so I'm commenting here. On the purely technical side of things, it was written fairly well. As far as your question about the ending it was expected from your log line. On a story note I feel like it lacked important characters other than Asiah then a bunch were added for the 3rd act. I think one thing to look at is imagine how non-religious people will look at the first half of the script and it's pro Christian stance...Then imagine how Christians will look at what Jesus ended up turning into. Really figure out the audience you want and try to tailor your story to them...I think non-Christians will not be very excited about the first half, and many Christians will be offended with the 2nd half...It showed a lot of imagination and the ability at screenwriting is there, I just think the story needs to be changed a bit to find an audience. But those were my thoughts and feelings a day after reading it.
  • tone2001 on 04/15/2013

    Comment deleted by Parthenis
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