PenName627

Very Well Done

A review of Acadia

by PenName627 on 03/16/2007

I don't have much to criticize about this script. It's very well structured, the characters are clearly defined. The resolution was satisfying. I'm not a big fan of period pieces, but I enjoyed the read. The only thing I can think of that I disliked was the present day story. I can see how it helps show how what happened to Alexandre and Jenpit was the beginning of a legacy,... read

Well Done

A review of The Professor's Widow (Rev. f.2)

by PenName627 on 03/12/2007

Let me start of with the strength of this story: Victor. What a great, fully fleshed-out character with one simple goal in life that carries him through this entire story, a goal that matures by the end of the story. He makes the whole thing worthwhile. The story is very well-written, the descriptions are basically perfect, the pacing is good, and the structure is solid. You're... read

Absolutely Brilliant

A review of Slugger

by PenName627 on 07/27/2006

This is gonna be a useless review for you, because I don't have any complaints or suggestions for change. This is a beautiful script, as close to perfect as it gets. If I weren't so busy writing, I'd probably quit my job and ask to be your agent. Everything in this story was just right. Character. Pacing. Dialogue. Tone. I loved that you gave the montages titles. The scene... read

Too Cute

A review of My Mother's Wedding

by PenName627 on 07/27/2006

You clearly understand the conventions of a romantic comedy, and constructed one that meets all of the requirements. This was a nice, cute story. But not really in a good way. It was too nice. Too cute. Too aware of itself as a romantic comedy. And far too generic. The characters seemed based on other characters from romantic comedies and not actual people. And Paul comes off... read

MishMash

A review of Sleepless Knights (revised)

by PenName627 on 06/19/2006

There is a lot of stuff going on here. A lot. Superhero, angels and demons, ghosts, midgets. I'm sure that it's meant to be complicated in a zany funny way, but it's built on top of each other with so many new rules and new characters throughout the story. Either some of these elements need to go (which is what I think) or the characters and rules need to be set up early on... read

Eloquent

A review of My Friend Gerald

by PenName627 on 06/15/2006

This was a very well-done and thoughtful piece. This writer is clearly in control of his craft and knows how to express whatever he wishes. His prose are excellent and he has captured the time period well. The descriptions were appropriate to the time period and helped create the era in the reader's mind. The writer knows what he's doing, and it's a pleasure to read something... read

A Clone of WEIRD SCIENCE

A review of Clone Girl

by PenName627 on 05/31/2006

Let me start off with the good stuff. I think you have a good understanding of how a scene works, how to make it move, give the characters tasks that keep the story moving. The three-act structure is accomplished fairly well. Otherwise, however, this entire story is just cliche after cliche. That may be on purpose, but it doesn't work. The main plot is the exact plot of WEIRD... read

Well Done

A review of Oh, And By The Way

by PenName627 on 01/10/2006

This is a good script. The writer clearly has command of her characters, her scenes, the structure, the tone. There are a lot of good visual scenes here. The dialogue is tight. Some problems: 1) Too much expository dialogue. People say things like, "What about four months ago when you had sex, resulting in your getting pregnant?" No one talks that way. There are at least four... read

Too Generic

A review of The Long Drive From Home

by PenName627 on 01/10/2006

I like John and I like Sarah. They seem like nice kids and I want things to work out for them. But the both seem just like any old high school kids. They aren't really characters. They need a lot more specificity, some quirks, some texture. They need to act more from what they as characters would do in a given situation, rather than what any person would do in a given situation... read

A Lot Of Stuff

A review of TWO

by PenName627 on 12/28/2005

The only positive thing I can say for this piece, unfortunately, is that it had a lot of different kinds and textures of imagery, and that sets it apart from most of the shorts I've seen here. Beyond that, however, this doesn't have much going for it. It reeks of student film. There are about three dozen shots of people walking toward and away from the camera, and putting out... read

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Reviews by PenName627 36

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Submissions by PenName627

Reviews by PenName627 36

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