Comments About ron gannon 47

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  the3rr on 01/28/2013

  Ron
  I didn't say you were caught. What it seemed to me, having worked for the government for many years, was a case where a piece of government paper was used as evidence for the defense of Martha and the government turned the obtaining and possession of that paper into the issue against the main character. If that was actually you; I feel your pain.
  
  As you know, In my review I listed most, if not all, of the characters. Some had first names, some didn't. I also stated at the end that it was like you knew these people. All I know about any of them were the one or two sentences devoted to each. If I have to go back and re-read who a person was or how he fits into the story, it detracts from the story. That is what happened to me. Maybe that describes it better than confusing. I never knew whether to keep track of a person or not. At some point, I choose not.
  
  My only suggestion was to cut characters and develop the ones you keep. I still stand by that. You have a good, interesting story here and I gave you credit for that.
  
  Finally, and most importantly, regarding all critiques in a public forum, one should take reviews by non-professionals with a gain of salt. I value your effort and commend you for putting your writing out there for the world to see. That says something about you right there. Writing is rewriting. Rewrite and sent it to me. I'd like to read it.
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  Wilsun on 01/26/2013

  Hey Ron,
  
  First of all, I agree with you, it's really nice to come across a review which is given after the reader has actually put time in reading the stuff rather than spending 5 mins on it and then coming up with 75 words as per the rules. And, I realize you have the unique "gift", like me and few others, to identify an honest review. :-)
  
  Now coming back to your response, I would like to mention a few stuff.
  
  I can assure you that whether a story is true and based on facts, or not, is not much of a concern for me, and I assume for a lot of other readers, too. Talented writers can serve facts as fiction or vice-versa. Who's to judge! And, who cares! At least, not me.
  
  “Martha was a victim because I said so” : I had mentioned in my review "Her gestures, behavior, dialogues don't make me feel what she feels." - It is because I don't come across these things, I say, it's Ron telling me that she's a victim. I'm not saying, Ron's forcing me on his perspective, instead, it's more like - since the writer Ron is not giving me much information, I 'have' to rely on the protagonist Ron's opinion. Hope this clears your confusion, if not, I'm honestly open to discuss it in detail. Your writing is definitely worth this small effort.
  
  Most important, I'm just an amateur and an aspiring writer, so, high chances that my review or feedback is incorrect and/or practically of no use for any sort of improvement. This is a possibility which I readily accept.
  
  Looking forward to share more stories and reviews with you.
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  teejae220 on 01/14/2013

  Ron,
  
  Thank you for your review of my story Yesteryear. I appreciate your comments and will check those sentences for clarity.
  
  Thanks,
  TJ

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Comments About ron gannon 47

• 
  Quote

  the3rr on 01/28/2013

  Ron
  I didn't say you were caught. What it seemed to me, having worked for the government for many years, was a case where a piece of government paper was used as evidence for the defense of Martha and the government turned the obtaining and possession of that paper into the issue against the main character. If that was actually you; I feel your pain.
  
  As you know, In my review I listed most, if not all, of the characters. Some had first names, some didn't. I also stated at the end that it was like you knew these people. All I know about any of them were the one or two sentences devoted to each. If I have to go back and re-read who a person was or how he fits into the story, it detracts from the story. That is what happened to me. Maybe that describes it better than confusing. I never knew whether to keep track of a person or not. At some point, I choose not.
  
  My only suggestion was to cut characters and develop the ones you keep. I still stand by that. You have a good, interesting story here and I gave you credit for that.
  
  Finally, and most importantly, regarding all critiques in a public forum, one should take reviews by non-professionals with a gain of salt. I value your effort and commend you for putting your writing out there for the world to see. That says something about you right there. Writing is rewriting. Rewrite and sent it to me. I'd like to read it.
• 
  Quote

  Wilsun on 01/26/2013

  Hey Ron,
  
  First of all, I agree with you, it's really nice to come across a review which is given after the reader has actually put time in reading the stuff rather than spending 5 mins on it and then coming up with 75 words as per the rules. And, I realize you have the unique "gift", like me and few others, to identify an honest review. :-)
  
  Now coming back to your response, I would like to mention a few stuff.
  
  I can assure you that whether a story is true and based on facts, or not, is not much of a concern for me, and I assume for a lot of other readers, too. Talented writers can serve facts as fiction or vice-versa. Who's to judge! And, who cares! At least, not me.
  
  “Martha was a victim because I said so” : I had mentioned in my review "Her gestures, behavior, dialogues don't make me feel what she feels." - It is because I don't come across these things, I say, it's Ron telling me that she's a victim. I'm not saying, Ron's forcing me on his perspective, instead, it's more like - since the writer Ron is not giving me much information, I 'have' to rely on the protagonist Ron's opinion. Hope this clears your confusion, if not, I'm honestly open to discuss it in detail. Your writing is definitely worth this small effort.
  
  Most important, I'm just an amateur and an aspiring writer, so, high chances that my review or feedback is incorrect and/or practically of no use for any sort of improvement. This is a possibility which I readily accept.
  
  Looking forward to share more stories and reviews with you.
• 
  Quote

  teejae220 on 01/14/2013

  Ron,
  
  Thank you for your review of my story Yesteryear. I appreciate your comments and will check those sentences for clarity.
  
  Thanks,
  TJ
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  ChristinaD on 01/03/2013

  Long Time Friend
  Ron, thank you for your input, it will be very helpful in my rewrite.
  Best,
  Christina
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  f-ceska on 11/10/2012

  Hi Ron,
  
  Thank you for your review of 'The Song'. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
  Dolphins have been known to attack sharks and drive them away, even to protect humans. Yes, the killings were a distant vision of the past, brought to life in the song. If you read the 'info' to the story, I've provided a few background notes, but i think you've got it.
  
  Thanks again for your comments.
  Francesca
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  tishanddavid on 11/07/2012

  Hey Ron,
  Glad that you read my short, Scab and Plaster. I hadn't thought about expanding Randall's offing his father. But you're right its something I will retool. Its just a small blip in a bigger tale and in flash back chapters it will be revealed how his father put him through living hell, so that wasnt enough for revenge.
  And, yes, Ill fix that period mid sentence.
  Tisha
  
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  f-ceska on 10/08/2012

  Hi Ron,
  Thanks for your review of 'The Gospel of Michael' and the high marks. I'm glad you enjoyed it and will take a look at all your suggestions when i come to a rewrite.
  (Once again, however, the spelling issue is a difference between Am Eng and GB Eng. Realise and all verbs that you spell with -ize- are spelled with -ise- in British English).
  Thanks also for the comment about the age, although I don't think i can check or change the quiz questions now and I can't remember what options I gate. Although Michael does mention his age on page 2. (I usually keep the document open when I do a quiz and often a fast search through finds the answers i may have missed while reading). You passed though!
  
  Thanks again,
  Francesca
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  Point_and_shoot on 10/01/2012

  No problem Ron, anytime. You know I critiqued the story mainly on traditional narrative standards. But I left the door open to the possibility that you were doing something else with this piece (splitting 9's) like a work-in-development for other mediums' purposes. Hense suggesting that you may be using it as a skeleton for a screenplay or whatnot. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion as I feel this is what TS is used for, and sometimes I need to remind myself that. I saw the animation, and it is interesting to view the mediums you are using for this story. One of them will make a defining stroke buddy. One thing for sure the dialogue in the animation is for the brave of hearing.
  
  
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  f-ceska on 09/28/2012

  Hi Ron and thanks for your review of the Gospel of Lucas. I will have another look at the points you mention, although some are clearly differences between US and UK use of English. For instance in the UK, publishers now prefer the use of single quotes for speech and double quotes only for quotations. A full stop (period) after initials (like Mr) is never used anymore. Faeces is the correct British spelling of this word. But you're probably right about the strumming guitars in the heat and I want to have another look at Eibhlin's speech. The hanging man is something I'll check out, but you're probably right about that too.
  Thanks again for the high scores and good look with your work,
  Francesca
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  Edward Tesla on 09/27/2012

  Hi Ron,
  
  Thankyou for the review of A Terrible Crime. The questions you raised about the cider cans showed me that I obviously skipped over the ending, not to mention the proofreading. I hope you enjoyed reading the story aside from my editorial lapses, and your positive comments on the atmosphere are very heartening indeed.
  
  I also hereby promise to proofread fully before posting. :)

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