Submissions by rupertbush
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Reviews by rupertbush
3
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Hi Jay
I was pretty taken aback by your script which to be honest I found quite shocking, some of the scenes were really graphic and uncomfortable, but at the same time pretty powerful. I guess this is not aimed at a family audience. I think the original story idea is good and the characters come across as proper victims and the bad guys as really nasty pieces of work. For...
Hi Jay
I was pretty taken aback by your script which to be honest I found quite shocking, some of the scenes were really graphic and uncomfortable, but at the same time pretty powerful. I guess this is not aimed at a family audience. I think the original story idea is good and the characters come across as proper victims and the bad guys as really nasty pieces of work. For me perhaps a more understated approach might work better, emphasising the psychological aspects of the thriller rather than the graphic.
I thought the pace of the plot and the build up to the climax worked well, I found it quite compelling and was eager to find out what happens. That said about half way through I was trying to imaging how these two guys were going to get their comeuppance.I think the only bit that jarred with me action wise was when she sawed off her own foot to break free, it felt a bit implausible.
Overall there were a few sections in the second act that felt a bit long, but just needed a bit of nip and tuck. It was really powerful writing, I felt engaged by the script throughout and it definitely had an effect on me.
Best of luck
Rupert Bush
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Hi Blake 421,
I have just finished reading your screenplay and I have to say I was gripped by the story, it has pace, strong characters and energy. It also has a pretty impressive attention to detail. At no point during my reading did I ever not think I was in the era so to speak. Clearly you know your subject and I think I can safely guess that a lot of hard work has gone...
Hi Blake 421,
I have just finished reading your screenplay and I have to say I was gripped by the story, it has pace, strong characters and energy. It also has a pretty impressive attention to detail. At no point during my reading did I ever not think I was in the era so to speak. Clearly you know your subject and I think I can safely guess that a lot of hard work has gone into it.
I can't really think of anything negative about the plot and characters, I guess the biggest obstacle for having it produced is a fairly hefty budget to get the perioud detail and pretty extensive cast and extras.
Perhaps I am a little biased as I am drawn to historical content and have been interested in the subject for years, when the random script came up to read and comment on, I jumped at the opportunity. I have been writing a script set in the West Indies in the mid 1700s so am acutely aware of the amount of work that goes into it just to get a feeling of authenticity.
So to summarize, I think overall the story and characters are really good, your descriptive elements are also very good, at the very most perhaps it needs a little 'Nip and tuck' but mimimal. I identified with the characters who were well defined and you dealt with the conflicts well. Perhaps the escape from the jail was a tiny bit predictable structure wise, and their inevitable confrontation with their counterparts on the battlefield, but even that feels a bit harsh to say.
All I can say to end is well done the proof of the hard work and endeavour is most definitely on the page. Best of luck
Rupert Bush
read
Submissions by rupertbush
No submissions (yet)
Reviews by rupertbush
3
-
Hi Jay
I was pretty taken aback by your script which to be honest I found quite shocking, some of the scenes were really graphic and uncomfortable, but at the same time pretty powerful. I guess this is not aimed at a family audience. I think the original story idea is good and the characters come across as proper victims and the bad guys as really nasty pieces of work. For...
Hi Jay
I was pretty taken aback by your script which to be honest I found quite shocking, some of the scenes were really graphic and uncomfortable, but at the same time pretty powerful. I guess this is not aimed at a family audience. I think the original story idea is good and the characters come across as proper victims and the bad guys as really nasty pieces of work. For me perhaps a more understated approach might work better, emphasising the psychological aspects of the thriller rather than the graphic.
I thought the pace of the plot and the build up to the climax worked well, I found it quite compelling and was eager to find out what happens. That said about half way through I was trying to imaging how these two guys were going to get their comeuppance.I think the only bit that jarred with me action wise was when she sawed off her own foot to break free, it felt a bit implausible.
Overall there were a few sections in the second act that felt a bit long, but just needed a bit of nip and tuck. It was really powerful writing, I felt engaged by the script throughout and it definitely had an effect on me.
Best of luck
Rupert Bush
read
-
Hi Blake 421,
I have just finished reading your screenplay and I have to say I was gripped by the story, it has pace, strong characters and energy. It also has a pretty impressive attention to detail. At no point during my reading did I ever not think I was in the era so to speak. Clearly you know your subject and I think I can safely guess that a lot of hard work has gone...
Hi Blake 421,
I have just finished reading your screenplay and I have to say I was gripped by the story, it has pace, strong characters and energy. It also has a pretty impressive attention to detail. At no point during my reading did I ever not think I was in the era so to speak. Clearly you know your subject and I think I can safely guess that a lot of hard work has gone into it.
I can't really think of anything negative about the plot and characters, I guess the biggest obstacle for having it produced is a fairly hefty budget to get the perioud detail and pretty extensive cast and extras.
Perhaps I am a little biased as I am drawn to historical content and have been interested in the subject for years, when the random script came up to read and comment on, I jumped at the opportunity. I have been writing a script set in the West Indies in the mid 1700s so am acutely aware of the amount of work that goes into it just to get a feeling of authenticity.
So to summarize, I think overall the story and characters are really good, your descriptive elements are also very good, at the very most perhaps it needs a little 'Nip and tuck' but mimimal. I identified with the characters who were well defined and you dealt with the conflicts well. Perhaps the escape from the jail was a tiny bit predictable structure wise, and their inevitable confrontation with their counterparts on the battlefield, but even that feels a bit harsh to say.
All I can say to end is well done the proof of the hard work and endeavour is most definitely on the page. Best of luck
Rupert Bush
read
Comments About rupertbush 5
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Hi, My name is Mary, sincere,friendly and open minded girl,seeking for a serious and honest relationship, good relationships are based on trust and honesty, I am interested in you for honest relationship. Please contact me on my private e-mail address.(mary.dokie@yahoo.com)so that i will tell you more about myself and my pictures also. Remember the distance,age or color does not matter, but love matters a lot in life.I believe we can move from here!
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Good day to you.
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Hi Rupert, thanks for taking the time to read and review, "The Current". Sorry if it was a bit rough going, you're quite right, this isn't a fun night out at the movies for the whole family. The foot sawing sequence of course gets a lot of comparisons to SAW, which makes me cringe, because I've never actually seen SAW (just my luck)...it was actually inspired by varying survival stories (including the story that 127 hours was based on) Hey, what are you gonna do? Thanks again.
+ more commentslove32 on 09/07/2011
dmary4k on 07/31/2011
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I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart. With due respect , trust and humanity, i appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter.
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Thanks and Remain bless as i wait to hear from you soon.
Jay_Stanners on 07/22/2011
J