a short story
by rz_sain
An actor coping with loss follows his friend into madness
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We blew it.
Submissions by rz_sain
Reviews by rz_sain 65
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A review of The Lament (rev)by rz_sain on 02/03/2012This was a somewhat layered story that made for an interesting read. I'll jump to specifics now An observation I can clearly make judging from the writing style is that you translate into writing what you see visually. Here's an example, "He looked up, then back again, “Tuesday.” I looked up, then back again, “Nothing springs to mind.” A visual writing style (if it's called... This was a somewhat layered story that made for an interesting read. I'll jump to specifics now
An observation I can clearly make judging from the writing style is that you translate into writing what you see visually. Here's an example,
"He looked up, then back again, “Tuesday.”
I looked up, then back again, “Nothing springs to mind.”
A visual writing style (if it's called that) can be very tricky, and can only be used to describe something in part, and I can't see it successfully being employed to convey an entire story. I've used it extensively myself, and looking back, all I can say is it's been excellent practice but I'm very happy to have moved on. The point is, in the case quoted above for example, that you have a problem- you want to specify the physical actions of the characters, but the reader does not like being told that a character 'looks up, then back again' because it makes the text clunky so... the simplest way to avoid such a situation would be to make it so that the reader visualizes the desired action himself, based on cues that you give, ie, the set up. If I might make a recommendation that has worked for me, I'd achieve this by describing the thoughts of the characters in some details, so there is no option in the readers imagination but to sorta take the route that you wish to lead them on. I'd like to illustrate this by example, again working with the same quote
So here we have
"He looked up, then back again, “Tuesday.”
I looked up, then back again, “Nothing springs to mind.”
This could be something like,
The policeman paused for a moment, turning to the ceiling in thought, he wasn't expecting to be the one giving the answers. "Tuesday", he finally said.
Half-amused despite myself, I, too, looked at the ceiling just where he had, and after a pause, pretended to read off, "Nothing springs to mind" before turning to face him once again.
I realize humour may not have been your intent here, but that's another point, if you merely describe an action, it is left open to interpretation, like I honestly believe you were going for a slightly comic thing just there. But if you describe the characters instead, their thoughts, their motivations, then you control the sentence, and the reader's experience.
One more thing I'd like to address is your use of first-person. The way you have written this short story, depending largely on descriptions of events for your narrative, this style suits a third person telling better. What I take to be the point of a first-person narrative is the incredible freedom it provides to explore your character and his feelings.
Anyway, I hope you find these little suggestions even the least bit helpful, they've helped me considerably over the years, and I wish you the best of luck in your future projects. read -
A review of Void Touchersby rz_sain on 02/03/2012What an enjoyable read. I loved the convincing setting and attention to detail. But without further ado, I'd like to get into the specifics and hopefully be as useful as I can.as I can. The details are selective. There is a lot of attention given to plot specific settings and locations and none at all to those that aren't. This creates a bit of a vacuum and the reader is aware... What an enjoyable read. I loved the convincing setting and attention to detail. But without further ado, I'd like to get into the specifics and hopefully be as useful as I can.as I can.
The details are selective. There is a lot of attention given to plot specific settings and locations and none at all to those that aren't. This creates a bit of a vacuum and the reader is aware that you're describing the character's full experience. I'm pretty sure that this short story is longer than these 50 pages and this is only one of the reasons why.
I think Tandy needs some work, here's why. I see what you're going for with him, but in his present state the reader has to fill in the gaps that you're leaving out because of restrictions in space, and in so doing, at least I often found myself at odds with Tandy and his actions (not necessarily what he did but how). We need to see/hear him think more, it's essentially in first person anyway. He sounds a lot like the rest of the crew when he talks, I'm assuming there's a good twenty years between them though. Changing his comfortable-with-the-boys voice may add to his character (and probably save you space if you need that). But really, we need to hear him think more so we can hear his actual voice, and the why behind what he does.
You must be aware that the story- from the poker game to the medical bay drama to the decision to blow the ship up, and then the twist, and then the other twist happen primarily in the space of less than a day (and then a couple of days later, but that doesn't really hint much at a passage of time). What I'm saying is a lot happens in very little time and in the very little space of 50 pages. I think the story requires a lot of emotional punctuation (what a terrible way to put it ), a lot of dramatic thinking. Perhaps that is my own way of doing things, and while I have no intention of telling you how you should do your work, please consider it.
I've read your short, Dr. Tower's Babel and it left me breathless, and was even a little shorter than this though I can swear a lot more happened in that than here (there is an understatement there). I'm not sure why that makes for a longer story in a shorter space, but perhaps it is this 'emotional punctuation' bull that I was talking about. If longer, more serious, more threatening, Void Touchers can be an amazing read. As it is, it's still a fun thrill, and also a very cool way to look at Reavers from Firefly. Anyway, good luck with it, I really enjoyed the read and hope to find more of your work. read -
A review of The Stone Steepleby rz_sain on 12/25/2011Wow, I liked this one. With just political intrigue to make the setting and story believable without confounding the reader, the story does a remarkable job at creating an immersive world where it is indeed very easy to get caught up and preoccupied by the hints of war just around the corner, a bleak tone that is set at the beginning, as the refugees shuffle into the camp as... Wow, I liked this one. With just political intrigue to make the setting and story believable without confounding the reader, the story does a remarkable job at creating an immersive world where it is indeed very easy to get caught up and preoccupied by the hints of war just around the corner, a bleak tone that is set at the beginning, as the refugees shuffle into the camp as Daktos watches. The Daktos is very clearly defined, it is easy to get an almost immediate sense of the character which remains consistent and convincing throughout. It's also easy to place him amongst the other characters in the story, each of whom combines to add to the world, describing it and raising the atmosphere, I had my doubts about the dog, but soon I realized what it meant to Daktos and I guess it works out, but please do consider removing the dog, and having Daktos be a much lonely to a degree almost desperate, which would make his visits to the brothel more enticing. I was impressed by the clarity of the action within this piece, it was not hard to follow it step by step, it was almost exhilirating. Again, this is a very well written and well structured piece that involves the reader, topped off by an ending that promises a sequel, one I eagerly await. read
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Submissions by rz_sain
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a short story by rz_sainAn actor coping with loss follows his friend into madness
Reviews by rz_sain 65
-
A review of The Lament (rev)by rz_sain on 02/03/2012This was a somewhat layered story that made for an interesting read. I'll jump to specifics now An observation I can clearly make judging from the writing style is that you translate into writing what you see visually. Here's an example, "He looked up, then back again, “Tuesday.” I looked up, then back again, “Nothing springs to mind.” A visual writing style (if it's called... This was a somewhat layered story that made for an interesting read. I'll jump to specifics now
An observation I can clearly make judging from the writing style is that you translate into writing what you see visually. Here's an example,
"He looked up, then back again, “Tuesday.”
I looked up, then back again, “Nothing springs to mind.”
A visual writing style (if it's called that) can be very tricky, and can only be used to describe something in part, and I can't see it successfully being employed to convey an entire story. I've used it extensively myself, and looking back, all I can say is it's been excellent practice but I'm very happy to have moved on. The point is, in the case quoted above for example, that you have a problem- you want to specify the physical actions of the characters, but the reader does not like being told that a character 'looks up, then back again' because it makes the text clunky so... the simplest way to avoid such a situation would be to make it so that the reader visualizes the desired action himself, based on cues that you give, ie, the set up. If I might make a recommendation that has worked for me, I'd achieve this by describing the thoughts of the characters in some details, so there is no option in the readers imagination but to sorta take the route that you wish to lead them on. I'd like to illustrate this by example, again working with the same quote
So here we have
"He looked up, then back again, “Tuesday.”
I looked up, then back again, “Nothing springs to mind.”
This could be something like,
The policeman paused for a moment, turning to the ceiling in thought, he wasn't expecting to be the one giving the answers. "Tuesday", he finally said.
Half-amused despite myself, I, too, looked at the ceiling just where he had, and after a pause, pretended to read off, "Nothing springs to mind" before turning to face him once again.
I realize humour may not have been your intent here, but that's another point, if you merely describe an action, it is left open to interpretation, like I honestly believe you were going for a slightly comic thing just there. But if you describe the characters instead, their thoughts, their motivations, then you control the sentence, and the reader's experience.
One more thing I'd like to address is your use of first-person. The way you have written this short story, depending largely on descriptions of events for your narrative, this style suits a third person telling better. What I take to be the point of a first-person narrative is the incredible freedom it provides to explore your character and his feelings.
Anyway, I hope you find these little suggestions even the least bit helpful, they've helped me considerably over the years, and I wish you the best of luck in your future projects. read -
A review of Void Touchersby rz_sain on 02/03/2012What an enjoyable read. I loved the convincing setting and attention to detail. But without further ado, I'd like to get into the specifics and hopefully be as useful as I can.as I can. The details are selective. There is a lot of attention given to plot specific settings and locations and none at all to those that aren't. This creates a bit of a vacuum and the reader is aware... What an enjoyable read. I loved the convincing setting and attention to detail. But without further ado, I'd like to get into the specifics and hopefully be as useful as I can.as I can.
The details are selective. There is a lot of attention given to plot specific settings and locations and none at all to those that aren't. This creates a bit of a vacuum and the reader is aware that you're describing the character's full experience. I'm pretty sure that this short story is longer than these 50 pages and this is only one of the reasons why.
I think Tandy needs some work, here's why. I see what you're going for with him, but in his present state the reader has to fill in the gaps that you're leaving out because of restrictions in space, and in so doing, at least I often found myself at odds with Tandy and his actions (not necessarily what he did but how). We need to see/hear him think more, it's essentially in first person anyway. He sounds a lot like the rest of the crew when he talks, I'm assuming there's a good twenty years between them though. Changing his comfortable-with-the-boys voice may add to his character (and probably save you space if you need that). But really, we need to hear him think more so we can hear his actual voice, and the why behind what he does.
You must be aware that the story- from the poker game to the medical bay drama to the decision to blow the ship up, and then the twist, and then the other twist happen primarily in the space of less than a day (and then a couple of days later, but that doesn't really hint much at a passage of time). What I'm saying is a lot happens in very little time and in the very little space of 50 pages. I think the story requires a lot of emotional punctuation (what a terrible way to put it ), a lot of dramatic thinking. Perhaps that is my own way of doing things, and while I have no intention of telling you how you should do your work, please consider it.
I've read your short, Dr. Tower's Babel and it left me breathless, and was even a little shorter than this though I can swear a lot more happened in that than here (there is an understatement there). I'm not sure why that makes for a longer story in a shorter space, but perhaps it is this 'emotional punctuation' bull that I was talking about. If longer, more serious, more threatening, Void Touchers can be an amazing read. As it is, it's still a fun thrill, and also a very cool way to look at Reavers from Firefly. Anyway, good luck with it, I really enjoyed the read and hope to find more of your work. read -
A review of The Stone Steepleby rz_sain on 12/25/2011Wow, I liked this one. With just political intrigue to make the setting and story believable without confounding the reader, the story does a remarkable job at creating an immersive world where it is indeed very easy to get caught up and preoccupied by the hints of war just around the corner, a bleak tone that is set at the beginning, as the refugees shuffle into the camp as... Wow, I liked this one. With just political intrigue to make the setting and story believable without confounding the reader, the story does a remarkable job at creating an immersive world where it is indeed very easy to get caught up and preoccupied by the hints of war just around the corner, a bleak tone that is set at the beginning, as the refugees shuffle into the camp as Daktos watches. The Daktos is very clearly defined, it is easy to get an almost immediate sense of the character which remains consistent and convincing throughout. It's also easy to place him amongst the other characters in the story, each of whom combines to add to the world, describing it and raising the atmosphere, I had my doubts about the dog, but soon I realized what it meant to Daktos and I guess it works out, but please do consider removing the dog, and having Daktos be a much lonely to a degree almost desperate, which would make his visits to the brothel more enticing. I was impressed by the clarity of the action within this piece, it was not hard to follow it step by step, it was almost exhilirating. Again, this is a very well written and well structured piece that involves the reader, topped off by an ending that promises a sequel, one I eagerly await. read
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A review of The Angel of Woodward Avenueby rz_sain on 12/25/2011This is a very slick and well written story about a major cock-up. The protagonist, an inscrutable guardian angel who is only too happy to partake in Earth's abundance of vodka and cigarettes finds that his attempts to save a man's only serve to get him killed. But this piece isn't about regret or disillusionment (the Old Man better give me a do-over on this one), instead it's... This is a very slick and well written story about a major cock-up. The protagonist, an inscrutable guardian angel who is only too happy to partake in Earth's abundance of vodka and cigarettes finds that his attempts to save a man's only serve to get him killed. But this piece isn't about regret or disillusionment (the Old Man better give me a do-over on this one), instead it's a sly little piece about an outward entity observing man’s reaction to his own requirement of redemption; his drive, almost selfless, to correct where he may err. The subject of the story is clearly the policeman’s accidental shooting of the kid, but I like how the angel’s character supercedes that. The quick finale as far as the cop is concerned is absolutely fitting and does not feel rushed, as it might if more emphasis had been laid on the cop, which is great structure. The atmosphere and setup of the story is very well built and almost engrossing, I loved the little 'inside' details Borromeo would give out every now and then about the afterlife. I enjoyed reading this entertaining short, and hope you have good luck with it in the future. read
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A review of Relife/Bandana-- rewriteby rz_sain on 12/15/2011This is an interesting short story about boyhood adventurism. As a father and son trek through a forest path, the boy comes across a red bandana which to him is is an objectification of his imaginative drive, little does he know, however, that the bandana is the very same one his father once has as a boy, one he had lost on an adventure of his own. There is an interesting parallel... This is an interesting short story about boyhood adventurism. As a father and son trek through a forest path, the boy comes across a red bandana which to him is is an objectification of his imaginative drive, little does he know, however, that the bandana is the very same one his father once has as a boy, one he had lost on an adventure of his own. There is an interesting parallel drawn here which relates the boyish fascination with the outdoors through time and generations. I found the description of the father character's childhood home quite touching, and also the playful exuberance with which he runs away from home is dealt with very well. As a short story it flows well, the jumps in time are natural and not jarring at all, and the action and excitement is well conveyed. Congratulations on a well written piece sir! read
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A review of Attachment Issuesby rz_sain on 12/14/2011Thank you for sharing this with us Cheyenne, it is very meaningful to some of us for you to dig out this painful history and present it with such hope. I only wish this piece could reach much younger people than the ones that usually visit this website, but I can say that I have been touched by it myself, and 'this is how I feel today' is something I'm not likely to forget... Thank you for sharing this with us Cheyenne, it is very meaningful to some of us for you to dig out this painful history and present it with such hope. I only wish this piece could reach much younger people than the ones that usually visit this website, but I can say that I have been touched by it myself, and 'this is how I feel today' is something I'm not likely to forget anytime soon. I will restrict this review to the atopic elements because having gone through difficult periods myself, I do not know how I would address them compared to your far more severe history. It was unclear to me how old you were when you met Lori face to face, I think that detail would help the narrative so the reader could identify and place you as a character responding to that setting. Also, you didn't mention the young girl you were talking to at the beginning of the piece. I am glad that there is someone like you who has taken to what I assume to be child social services, there can't be enough empathy in this world. Anyway, I hope that your writing can reach more people because this was perhaps one of the few actually portant reads I have ever come across on triggerstreet. read
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A review of The Ferryby rz_sain on 12/14/2011Wow, that was an interesting read! The naturality of the setting at the beginning is striking, the conversation with the gas station guy is wonderful (I don't think you need to refer to the Aluminum factory specifically though). I wasn't really sure what Rick's relationship to the protagonist was until you clearly slept that out, her feelings seemed conflicted from the dialog... Wow, that was an interesting read! The naturality of the setting at the beginning is striking, the conversation with the gas station guy is wonderful (I don't think you need to refer to the Aluminum factory specifically though). I wasn't really sure what Rick's relationship to the protagonist was until you clearly slept that out, her feelings seemed conflicted from the dialog. The transition the otherworldliness of the rocking barge was excellent, the tension rose remarkably 'naturally' again, and even though I was expecting some kind of 'The Host' like intervention, the fear and realization of the scene was terrific. Which brings us to the ending. You've chosen a very specific way for your character to perish, do her settings or situation have anything to do with her demise? Is this really some kind of subconscious suicide, where she imagined herself in a fantasy world looking forward to a new life and reliving a healthy relationship with Rick, when in fact perhaps the current standing of this relationship is not so well. I think if you can determine an appropriate motivation for her death, one that contextualizes with the themes of change and ?identity? (and is this the Styx she crosses?) that the short story is laden with, this short story would be all the more intriguing for it. Congratulations! read
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A review of The Saracen Locketby rz_sain on 12/14/2011I'm trying to read into this little short story, woman's drive for agelessness paid for by (butchered, literally) masculine requirement? If so I think you go easy on your characters by making the victims listless, wolfish men without merit and turn what happens into a more or less win-win situation. It's like Kill Bill if the bride was a hooker. Beyond that, I think you're... I'm trying to read into this little short story, woman's drive for agelessness paid for by (butchered, literally) masculine requirement? If so I think you go easy on your characters by making the victims listless, wolfish men without merit and turn what happens into a more or less win-win situation. It's like Kill Bill if the bride was a hooker. Beyond that, I think you're writing style is smart and quick and suits the story but I'm not sure why you went into quite some detail describing the second girl, the athletic one when she doesn't really factor in very heavily as an individual of significance to the plot. You also make her give out some quantity of information through the dialogue which could improve without this additional requirement of it. Lastly, you mention that 'you' would take the protagonist home to see your mother, while the other one is that friend of yours from college who was better at aports than any guy. When you say 'you', are you referring to the male readers or your piece, or establishing a homosexual intention here, and if that's the case, it would be more effective to the story, where I imagine it contextualizes well, if it were clarified. Anyway, that was a brief, fun story. Congratulations! read
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A review of As Pairwise as the Day is Longby rz_sain on 04/19/2008This is a good story with a great title, and an original take on a well used (but ever welcome) subject, you know, mystery plague kills the world. Except here, it isn't really a plague, but as far as I understand, , a momentary disconnection from consciousness that only two people recover from. When we're put into the story, two weeks after the Delta Day (called thus because... This is a good story with a great title, and an original take on a well used (but ever welcome) subject, you know, mystery plague kills the world. Except here, it isn't really a plague, but as far as I understand, , a momentary disconnection from consciousness that only two people recover from. When we're put into the story, two weeks after the Delta Day (called thus because of the 'Delta' waves that were supposed to have caused the 5,999,999,998 deaths) both Harlin and Anderson's sanity is rather questionable, as it is expected to be, considering that they have to step over bodies everywhere they go, cross out memories of loved ones and try to forget what was all around them. There's no survivor's guilt here, no I Am Legend-ish search for a 'cure' (that happens at the end), there's only a daze, and we watch Harlin, the protagonist, as walks into houses (well, a house) to find something to eat, and conveerse with the dead. Now this Anderson fellow is a physicist, and has some understanding of the events that occurred. He is also bent on making Harlin realize that the life he thought he had lived isn't really his, but the lead character from a pulp novel ominously titled Stuck, which he derived from Anderson's brain (I've mentioned how somewhere below). Harlin, ofcourse, is reasonably upset, but the proof, the novel itself, is undeniable. He begins to believe he is in a sort of religious netherworld, and in trial, the outcome of which will decide his entry into Heaven or Hell. He begins to believe Anderson is Satan, with not-too-unforseeable results (considering that both of them carry rusty firearms, presumably to fight of legions of the dead gone all Resident Evil). Anderson, on the other hand, is certain that Harlin is in fact, his mentor Professor Ivanaj, who, while experimenting with consciousness, managed to cause the Delta wave which was like a stream of consciousness nuclear blast that ended all life on earth in a split second. Apparently, Ivanaj lost all his memories in the blast, and his consciousness lifted a few from Anderson, who happened to be standing nearby. Anderson says that the effect is reversible, a shot in the head would undo the effects of the Delta thing by making the rays travel backwards in time, and, you know. This only makes Harlin think of the religious aspect of all this as he weighs his options. Needless to say, he blows their brains out. The end is wisely inconclusive, and thats that.
Now, my turn.
Though the story, the delivery and substance of this short story are very very interesting, the dialog (throughout) doesn't rise up to it, and that brings the thing down, because no matter how many memories and experiences you put into a character, the way he talks is essential to make him real. And the dialog here is not real. Reading the whole thing, I see that your big on concepts, but not too flowery on delivery. Though that is just a way of writing, I can't think of a single instance when attractive writing hurt a story.
Now that that's behind us, let me implore/advice/suggest you do with the story the countless things you can do with it to elevate it from pretty good to fucking brilliant. You do not dwell on the situation they're in, Harlin and Anderson, except in the 'confrontation' scenes. You mention things that happen in their lives (in the present), but you do not dwell upon them. The first scene and the one in the dead girl's room are the only ones where any sort of real description has come in. Look, if the world came crashing to a halt tomorrow, won't the survivor's become a bit philosphical and actually look at the situation, not to determine the how or the why, but to look at it, and see (which is harder than it sounds). The only two survivor's are male, but you never mention what that would mean to them, without a future. No babies, nothing. You don't reveal the (it was an excellent revelation, by the way) 'we don't have too long to live' thing until the end, and the characters MUST have thought about the future. And really, the horrors of being the last people on earth are grossly undermined. I know all this might seem too much for a short story, but if it's worth writing, it's worth writing the best you possibly can. Your pacing isn't that hot either, and I have no idea how you can make it better except that you write with passion. Look man, don't write just for the sake of telling a story, especially with a wonderful premise like the one you have presented here. Writing is like praying, and what's a prayer without passion? You have something there man, not just anyone can come up with a concept like that, but you have to become a better writer. Always. I'm sorry that your first review has to be such a sombre one, but I mean well (really). Don't hurry on a rewrite, take a few months or weeks off this particular project, and when you do, be kind to it. Dude, make it what it can be, that's all I want to say. And good luck. read -
A review of Andrew's Walk Homeby rz_sain on 03/24/2008This is one of those things that come off as either brilliant or what-the-hell-just-happened. Well, for me, it's amazing. This is a story about this porno filmmaker (and actor?) who has a surgery and is walking home from the hospital (as the title and the synopsis graciously suggest), and maybe becausse of the drugs in his system, he's thinking a bit differently. I love how... This is one of those things that come off as either brilliant or what-the-hell-just-happened. Well, for me, it's amazing. This is a story about this porno filmmaker (and actor?) who has a surgery and is walking home from the hospital (as the title and the synopsis graciously suggest), and maybe becausse of the drugs in his system, he's thinking a bit differently. I love how raw English humour is used here to outline the visciously bizzare (yet somehow funny, I was laughing hard in the last few pages) way in which the events unfold. I wanted to quote my favourite lines in the review, but I see now that I'll probably end up quoting half the lines said. You might as well just read the whole thing. So this guy's cache of porno was dicovered by his wife (who was kind enough to think about it for a week before approaching him)(I thought the 'disagreement' could've been actually described, so that the latter half of the synopsis would make sense), and this leads the guy to wonder if his wife will take him back for who he was before (or who she thought he was anyway).
It takes an effort to get what is being said sometimes (ah, the English), but even if you don't get it, laugh anyway, it's funny. For a second there while reading, I sorta related to the narrator guy, and it wasn't exactly pleasant or anything, but like the rest of the story, weird cool fun. The ending, what with him being 'crucified by a bus', was hilarious and reminded me of the wonderful Brit movie, Promoted To Glory. I liked the open ending with the wife faintly waving to Mr. Morris, it's a great way to have ended it, very original, by straying away from the protag quite like he strayed from one thought to another. read
Comments About rz_sain 23
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nick74 on 02/12/2012
RZ
Thanks for your review of Void Touchers. Your insights are well appreciated. They obviously come on the heals of a reader who knows exactly what they want from a story. And, in that you touched on Dr. Towers' Babel also, I feel like I got a two-fer-one. Rare in deed. Again, thanks for taking the time.
I haven't placed a review on TS recently, but as I scan my review assignments, I see one "Subsistence" awaiting me in my assignment bin. I look forward to reading it very soon.
Let's talk soon RZ! -
mwiings on 01/26/2012
Thank you so much for reviewing The Saracen Locket.
I described Vienna because she is important to Mayleen's story but uploaded a version that doesnt go into her role which was my oversight.
While I had not intended for the story to have any homosexual intentions that is an interesting observation.
Thanks again for your review. -
teejae220 on 01/01/2012
Thanks so much for your review of The Ferry. Sorry I'm just now getting around to responding. I was out of town quite a bit through the holidays. I look forward to reading your work. -
Cheyenne30 on 12/15/2011
Thank you for the advice. I was 16 when I met Lori. This is only a partial of what I went through growing up. I agree that this story needs to reach more of the younger generations. -
**DELETED ACCOUNT** on 12/15/2011
Hi,
Thanks so much for your wonderful review of my story "Discovery". It was intended as a short story, but for a number of reasons, including the ones you mention, it could easily be a novel. Perhaps this is the next novel idea I've been looking for! One of the key premises of the story is someone discovering they are somewhere between Judaism and the Catholic Church and what that means for a religious figure.
There is so much more to tell...but not easy to do here in a comment.
Again, thanks so much for taking the time to write your thoughtful remarks!
All the best for your own writing.
Erik -
Tripsheet Revision on 12/14/2011
Thanks for your review of my short story. I appreciate it. -
Point_and_shoot on 08/21/2008
What happened to your other stories? Well I have finally posted up a work, so if you have time take a read. Subsistence deserved quiet late night reading. point_and_shoot -
**DELETED ACCOUNT** on 06/25/2008
Sorry I missed your comment all that time ago. Yeah, interesting idea... -
oldtestament on 04/13/2008
I'm really surprised if you've never read Lovecraft.
http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft
There's a link. All his stuff is public domain now to my knowledge.
Read "The Music of Erich Zann" first, then give "The Outsider" a read. They shouldn't be more than about 20 pages combined. From there, read whatever you like. Some of it is ok. Some of it is fantastic.
Dark City has a place in my dvd collection. It's pretty good, though I always felt something was missing that I could never really place.
I look forward to reading more of your work in the future and if I ever get around to posting, maybe you'll read something of mine. -
jwest on 03/28/2008
Heheee - nah, av is a cute Ninja.
Hope all well ;D
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Comments About rz_sain 23
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RZ
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Thank you so much for reviewing The Saracen Locket.
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Thanks so much for your review of The Ferry. Sorry I'm just now getting around to responding. I was out of town quite a bit through the holidays. I look forward to reading your work.
+ more commentsnick74 on 02/12/2012
Thanks for your review of Void Touchers. Your insights are well appreciated. They obviously come on the heals of a reader who knows exactly what they want from a story. And, in that you touched on Dr. Towers' Babel also, I feel like I got a two-fer-one. Rare in deed. Again, thanks for taking the time.
I haven't placed a review on TS recently, but as I scan my review assignments, I see one "Subsistence" awaiting me in my assignment bin. I look forward to reading it very soon.
Let's talk soon RZ!
mwiings on 01/26/2012
I described Vienna because she is important to Mayleen's story but uploaded a version that doesnt go into her role which was my oversight.
While I had not intended for the story to have any homosexual intentions that is an interesting observation.
Thanks again for your review.
teejae220 on 01/01/2012