Submissions by scolew
No submissions (yet)
Reviews by scolew
7
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Writing:
Amazingly crisp, I applaud your ability to bring the story to life. The descriptions and action sequences are well crafted and expertly tuned. This by far is the best writing I've personally seen in a screenplay thus far. The grammar deep into the story drops off a bit, you might want to check it. Overall, very, very good!
Dialog:
I thought the dialog was well...
Writing:
Amazingly crisp, I applaud your ability to bring the story to life. The descriptions and action sequences are well crafted and expertly tuned. This by far is the best writing I've personally seen in a screenplay thus far. The grammar deep into the story drops off a bit, you might want to check it. Overall, very, very good!
Dialog:
I thought the dialog was well done for the characters in this story. I hope you write other screenplays to use your brilliant writing technique for more complex characters. For this story, the writing fits into the backdrop, but unfortunately, you had to stifle your abilities with these characters. I hope you see that I'm complimenting your writing!
Story:
I liked the storyline. Lots of action, a love story, life choices. I liked at the end where Kieth and Madeline aren't driving off into the distance, happily ever after. You left that part to our imagination.
Characters:
Your dialog was written well for this story and the characters had depth to them. I enjoyed Kieth and Madeline, and rooted for them to be together.
read
-
Story:
I liked the storyline, it kept a good pace. I never got bored,
which can happen easily to me. I was always pulling for Norm, I'm
glad he didn't give all his money away. I'm am of the opinion that
money cures all ailments, almost. The relationship between Norm and
Luanne was simple and sweet. I liked the way Shelley went to the
principle's house at the end...
Story:
I liked the storyline, it kept a good pace. I never got bored,
which can happen easily to me. I was always pulling for Norm, I'm
glad he didn't give all his money away. I'm am of the opinion that
money cures all ailments, almost. The relationship between Norm and
Luanne was simple and sweet. I liked the way Shelley went to the
principle's house at the end.
Dialog:
I thought your dialog was good throughout. The words came
naturally, not forced or unreal. There were a few punctuation
errors, but not enough to be annoying.
Characters:
I liked Norm very much, I just watched Matchstick Men today and
was thinking how interesting the main characters OCD was. I liked
the way his disorder was handled throughout.
Writing:
I liked the writing, you descriptions were short and sweet. As
mentioned above, the dialog was fluid. It was also very compact and
streamlined.
Overall:
Well written and a nice sweet story. Basic story was handled with
nice plot structure and I like the way you sculpted the ending.
Bravo my friend.
read
-
First off, it's too long, cut it down by like 30 or 40 pages. The part about showing how to work at a movie theater is too long and boring. Also, the punctuation is horrible, it needs to be corrected. It's hard to read the way it is. I like the plot and the character of Egan is well written. The love story was well done, I was rooting for Egan and Becca to stay together. You...
First off, it's too long, cut it down by like 30 or 40 pages. The part about showing how to work at a movie theater is too long and boring. Also, the punctuation is horrible, it needs to be corrected. It's hard to read the way it is. I like the plot and the character of Egan is well written. The love story was well done, I was rooting for Egan and Becca to stay together. You write the "happy work moments" well, they are uplifting and fun. There are several spelling errors as well, for instance, to and too are used incorrectly several times throughout the script. Overall, I like the script very much. If you corrected the spelling and punctuation, shortened the script to about 100 pages, it would be pretty solid in my humble opinion.
read
Submissions by scolew
No submissions (yet)
Reviews by scolew
7
-
Writing:
Amazingly crisp, I applaud your ability to bring the story to life. The descriptions and action sequences are well crafted and expertly tuned. This by far is the best writing I've personally seen in a screenplay thus far. The grammar deep into the story drops off a bit, you might want to check it. Overall, very, very good!
Dialog:
I thought the dialog was well...
Writing:
Amazingly crisp, I applaud your ability to bring the story to life. The descriptions and action sequences are well crafted and expertly tuned. This by far is the best writing I've personally seen in a screenplay thus far. The grammar deep into the story drops off a bit, you might want to check it. Overall, very, very good!
Dialog:
I thought the dialog was well done for the characters in this story. I hope you write other screenplays to use your brilliant writing technique for more complex characters. For this story, the writing fits into the backdrop, but unfortunately, you had to stifle your abilities with these characters. I hope you see that I'm complimenting your writing!
Story:
I liked the storyline. Lots of action, a love story, life choices. I liked at the end where Kieth and Madeline aren't driving off into the distance, happily ever after. You left that part to our imagination.
Characters:
Your dialog was written well for this story and the characters had depth to them. I enjoyed Kieth and Madeline, and rooted for them to be together.
read
-
Story:
I liked the storyline, it kept a good pace. I never got bored,
which can happen easily to me. I was always pulling for Norm, I'm
glad he didn't give all his money away. I'm am of the opinion that
money cures all ailments, almost. The relationship between Norm and
Luanne was simple and sweet. I liked the way Shelley went to the
principle's house at the end...
Story:
I liked the storyline, it kept a good pace. I never got bored,
which can happen easily to me. I was always pulling for Norm, I'm
glad he didn't give all his money away. I'm am of the opinion that
money cures all ailments, almost. The relationship between Norm and
Luanne was simple and sweet. I liked the way Shelley went to the
principle's house at the end.
Dialog:
I thought your dialog was good throughout. The words came
naturally, not forced or unreal. There were a few punctuation
errors, but not enough to be annoying.
Characters:
I liked Norm very much, I just watched Matchstick Men today and
was thinking how interesting the main characters OCD was. I liked
the way his disorder was handled throughout.
Writing:
I liked the writing, you descriptions were short and sweet. As
mentioned above, the dialog was fluid. It was also very compact and
streamlined.
Overall:
Well written and a nice sweet story. Basic story was handled with
nice plot structure and I like the way you sculpted the ending.
Bravo my friend.
read
-
First off, it's too long, cut it down by like 30 or 40 pages. The part about showing how to work at a movie theater is too long and boring. Also, the punctuation is horrible, it needs to be corrected. It's hard to read the way it is. I like the plot and the character of Egan is well written. The love story was well done, I was rooting for Egan and Becca to stay together. You...
First off, it's too long, cut it down by like 30 or 40 pages. The part about showing how to work at a movie theater is too long and boring. Also, the punctuation is horrible, it needs to be corrected. It's hard to read the way it is. I like the plot and the character of Egan is well written. The love story was well done, I was rooting for Egan and Becca to stay together. You write the "happy work moments" well, they are uplifting and fun. There are several spelling errors as well, for instance, to and too are used incorrectly several times throughout the script. Overall, I like the script very much. If you corrected the spelling and punctuation, shortened the script to about 100 pages, it would be pretty solid in my humble opinion.
read
Comments About scolew 4
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Thanks for the review of Ashland. I really appreciate the compliments. Good luck to you and yours.
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Hey Man,
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HELLO!
+ more commentscrossroads79 on 02/06/2012
wanderingmbhorn on 02/03/2012
Thanks for reading "Norm," I really appreciate the notes and am glad you enjoyed the script!
John
Egan316 on 01/27/2012
I agree with what you said on the review of Cinema 15. Its far too long and will be shortened. Grammar will also be fixed. I am glad you liked it though. I will let you know when the next draft is finished if you would like?
What did you think about the circle of employee scenes?
Anyways I read the synopsis of in circulation and will definitely be reading that.
Thanks again for the review.
EGAN