Reviews of Adam's Curse 15

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  Adam's curse
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by jaybronx5 on 11/25/2004
  This is the second straight vampire screenplay that I recieved, so, I'm a little tired of the whole genre as a whole. As for your story, I found it a fresh take in a worn-thin genre. The beginning as we are taken through church's history is well-written. And how that beginning sets up the entire story is very well structured and mapped out. You have a tremendous talent and... This is the second straight vampire screenplay that I recieved, so, I'm a little tired of the whole genre as a whole. As for your story, I found it a fresh take in a worn-thin genre. The beginning as we are taken through church's history is well-written. And how that beginning sets up the entire story is very well structured and mapped out. You have a tremendous talent and a wonderful story. I myself didn't find anything that caught my attention -- maybe I missed something along the way. All and all, great story. read
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  Review
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by seanryan on 11/23/2004
  I found the concept interesting after reading the synopsis. I admit to being a fan of vampire movies. But more often than not they are poorly made. This seems to have a little edge of originality that could work, if better executed.I think the biggest issue is the characters. They are simply not developed or directed enough. The scale of the screenplay is shown. It would have... I found the concept interesting after reading the synopsis. I admit to being a fan of vampire movies. But more often than not they are poorly made. This seems to have a little edge of originality that could work, if better executed.I think the biggest issue is the characters. They are simply not developed or directed enough. The scale of the screenplay is shown. It would have the visuals, the story and interest. but without the characters, would be pointless (See Alien VS Predator for example). Work on Adam first and tie him down, give him purpose and paint him with more care. Dialogue is also a little wooden and not realistic.Structure and formatting are good, which shows you understand and can develop a screenplay. Although the second act tends to loose focus - starts and ends well but the middle section needs to be developed more.Work on the characters and dialogue. Brush up the second act and this could be much, much better. Good luck with it. read
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  Adam's Curse
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by powboccumini22 on 11/22/2004
  I really liked the premise of this film. It is original, and has a point to it. I love the twist at the end, and I see your integration of the bible and biblical texts worked well to back up your theme. I got a little lost because you jump around a lot. Perhaps you can ease that by describing the characters a bit more. Some of the dialoge seems forced, and less natural... I really liked the premise of this film. It is original, and has a point to it. I love the twist at the end, and I see your integration of the bible and biblical texts worked well to back up your theme. I got a little lost because you jump around a lot. Perhaps you can ease that by describing the characters a bit more. Some of the dialoge seems forced, and less natural flowing then normal. I like to actually speak the loines out loud to ensure that they sound like conversational english. Ditto for the action and descriptions. Otherwise you have a wonderful script here, and a great concept. Keep up the good work and best of luck to you. read
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  Great Start
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by nellis003 on 09/27/2004
  I absolutely loved the beginning of this, but then it just seemed to fall apart. You've set a terrific mood in the first act, but later on you get bogged down. I think you're too determined to make this a story of an enormous scale, when in reality you should be concentrating on the characters you've spent so much time developing. Adam seems to wander directionless though... I absolutely loved the beginning of this, but then it just seemed to fall apart. You've set a terrific mood in the first act, but later on you get bogged down. I think you're too determined to make this a story of an enormous scale, when in reality you should be concentrating on the characters you've spent so much time developing. Adam seems to wander directionless though this until the third act. Let's see him do some things. Your scene descriptions reveal things that should be shown instead. For instance, when Adam is carrying around a broadsword right after his transformation. You never explain why he's a swordsman, except for in the scene description of his house. We need to see these things, not read them. The scene where Adam suddenly gets thousands of emails from all around the world is completely preposterous. Where did all of these people hear about him? That's never explained, either. I think you're better off ditching the global concept and staying local. You get the same effect at the end, and it feels more believeable. You're off to a great start here, but it still needs work. Nice job. read
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  An inspirational, edge of your seat suspense love story
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by variable on 09/24/2004
  I was hooked on the story from the opening scene. The setup was intriguing considering the synopsis of the story. As I read more and more I found myself being pulled into the story and feeling a geniune concern for the characters.From start to finish the story line held together surprisingly well considering the broad topics it tried to cover. It's not often you can fit... I was hooked on the story from the opening scene. The setup was intriguing considering the synopsis of the story. As I read more and more I found myself being pulled into the story and feeling a geniune concern for the characters.From start to finish the story line held together surprisingly well considering the broad topics it tried to cover. It's not often you can fit the crucifixion and vampires into a story and make it work, but Dino Muccio did it on this one, and pretty well I think.The scene transitions were snappy and creative and helped to flow the story along and illustrate the emotions from scene to scene. There was a very good effort to develop the main character and establish his credentials for the final scene. However, I would have liked to have seen better development and background on the supporting characters. I was left with a desire to learn more about the characters by the end, only to find that it was simply not going to happen.The ending, while a bit morbid was dramatic. Though the dramatic effect and ultimate solution was a bit vague and wasn't explained very well through the rest of the story. At the end I felt a certain level of satisfaction, despite the "elimination" of the characters. read
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  CURSES!
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by Nadlin on 08/13/2004
  It reads more like a novel. Gosh, first off you sum up the entire Bible in 3 minutes. I don't know whether to be amazed or appalled. That aside, the story is interesting, and even inventive, but the style of presentation is technically flawed. For a screenplay, everything written much be viewable to a movie audience. That means the story must be establlished by dialogue or... It reads more like a novel. Gosh, first off you sum up the entire Bible in 3 minutes. I don't know whether to be amazed or appalled. That aside, the story is interesting, and even inventive, but the style of presentation is technically flawed. For a screenplay, everything written much be viewable to a movie audience. That means the story must be establlished by dialogue or action. There is way too much not viewable material written as description. How does the viewing audience know Adam touched by Marie's concern; Adam forgets he's a vampire for a moment? All this needs dialogue to establish. There is also too much internal stuff: Adam struck by a thought; surprizes even himself. Theses are novelistic elements not proper for script format. It's novelistic when you write that Eli's sermon is full of lies and deceit. No, we can't assume it's holy water. Have a character say it. "A battle which rages in all of us" is addressed to the reader, not the viewer. Editorializing: crowd not sure what it's angry about. The story itself is interesting in the presentation of good vs evil, Eli's cause, Adam's faith. The vamp threat is very ominous. It's inventive in the way vamp's are killed and the spikes. So, take your good story and rewrite. read
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  review
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by jadorefilm on 08/03/2004
  Adam's Curse was an interesting script that held my attention pretty much throughout the script except some slow parts that dragged a little too long. The begining of the script should be cut down as most of it gets a litle long and redundant. The characters need more time to develop relationships and really bond, as it is written I don't feel the realism in their emotions... Adam's Curse was an interesting script that held my attention pretty much throughout the script except some slow parts that dragged a little too long. The begining of the script should be cut down as most of it gets a litle long and redundant. The characters need more time to develop relationships and really bond, as it is written I don't feel the realism in their emotions. More fights would probably beef up the action and supspense. Eve and Marie need to have a really long fight. Pastor Ken dies too easily. This needs a good rewrite, but it's got potential read
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  Adam's Curse
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/31/2004
  I'll presage this by saying I know nothing of religion (other than what I have seen on TV) and I'm no fan of vampires. I enjoyed the opening sequences (some technical problems and for a log of those and some typo's email me if you want). There is a lot of beautiful writing... but it's in the descriptions and sadly most wouldn't make the screen. (lots of it is internal and... I'll presage this by saying I know nothing of religion (other than what I have seen on TV) and I'm no fan of vampires. I enjoyed the opening sequences (some technical problems and for a log of those and some typo's email me if you want). There is a lot of beautiful writing... but it's in the descriptions and sadly most wouldn't make the screen. (lots of it is internal and much would be overlooked by Director and designers). The dialogue was ... generally good but sometimes uneven - with the odd paragraph ("on the nose" as they say - expository), standing out against the general quality elsewhere. Some character decisions puzzled me. (I don't want to be a "spoiler" so again email if interested) Suffice it to say they involve a padlock...and a certain Ken/Adam interaction. As touched on indirectly before, in terms of florid writing, you could really cut the length of this without touching the story by trimming action and location descriptions. For mine I would have liked someone (maybe the news people) to at least be more sceptical/less accepting of the core issues. News people are by trade cynical, and it would be nice if someone played that role...and they could offer that view without impacting the story or reveals in anyway. read
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  Almost A Real Winner!
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by mgrigsby on 07/28/2004
  A very cool idea--the mixingof religion, particularly the crucifixion, and vampires. The way you tied Jesus' death with so many vampire symbols was terrific. i almost thought you were going to tell us Jesus was a vampire! That would have been really interesting. He was dead but did not die--rose from the dead later, the blood, the piercing with the spear, the spikes, his... A very cool idea--the mixingof religion, particularly the crucifixion, and vampires. The way you tied Jesus' death with so many vampire symbols was terrific. i almost thought you were going to tell us Jesus was a vampire! That would have been really interesting. He was dead but did not die--rose from the dead later, the blood, the piercing with the spear, the spikes, his hypnotic power,charisima, etc. that owuld have been a startling choice.However, the story itself is interesting. the writing stype at times is weak, several narrative sentences cannot be filmed, e.g. pg 106 "Adam looks at each of the vampires, determined to proceed with the purpose of bringing peace to those who called on him. He will not be taken." Yopu canmnot shoot or edit :"determined to proceed with the purpose...". A lot fo dialogue was on the nose, not a lot fo depth, several of the characte5rs saounded exactly the same. Work on each character having a specific attitude in each scene, each character "playiong" a part in the conflict. This has great potential for a script, much deeper than the trypical horror stories. read
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  A Bite Of Adam's Apple
  A review of Adam's Curse
  by cruelmessenger on 07/27/2004
  Since vampire tales are a dime a dozen, sometimes the best thing to do is when writing one is to add something new, re-invent a mythos, and, if nothing else, bring in good characters worth caring about. Since the crazy notion of Christ vs Vampirism has been touched upon in "Dracula 2000" (Drac was revealed to be Judas) the script cannot avoid even a mild comparison, although... Since vampire tales are a dime a dozen, sometimes the best thing to do is when writing one is to add something new, re-invent a mythos, and, if nothing else, bring in good characters worth caring about. Since the crazy notion of Christ vs Vampirism has been touched upon in "Dracula 2000" (Drac was revealed to be Judas) the script cannot avoid even a mild comparison, although your sp tends to go into more detail, if not overkill. Vampire cliches aside, one of the best things in the script is the lead protagonist's plight. That said, I think the sp is a keeper, but only if you make some strict revisions- primarily show don't tell, and get rid of 'editor's notes. (i.e."Hopefully he won't have to kill her", "...don't be surprised to find a few TEENs.."etc.) and don't ask the reader to guess (i.e. is that Blood on the wall or not?) it is little things like this that add up and distract from the read- and this sort of thing is present from start to finish. Also, don't abbreviate, and know the difference between V.O. and O.S. (off screen). Finally, you CAN get by without the biblical type quotes and openings. The symbolism remains when we step into the main story. Good luck on this. read